This post left anonymously
How would you punish your 17 year old daughter if she lied to you about getting an internship,
but you found out that she is loafing around in Manhattan talking to strangers and asking people for money?
Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.
I wouldn’t. There are problems that need fixing.. I’d try to figure out what exactly those problems are, and then I’d seek advice on how to fix those problems.
Make her bring home a certain amount of money each night and ask for a share of the money.
well actually the worst thing to do is punish because its not going to bring her home and she’ll just cut ties and most likely end up in a VERY bad situation. an example would be lindsay lohan without all the money… so i suggest you try to find out whats going on and bring her home even if you have to go get her but stay CALM. don’t get angry with her or raise your voice or anything like that because it will only scare her away. whatever her reason for lying or the fact that she lied doesn’t matter as much as getting her back safe and since she’s 17 you wont get much help from the police and probably can’t get any authority involved.
I don’t know if “punish” is the operative word here…
I’d think more along the lines of “therapy”.
She needs help…
And if she is walking up to strangers in Manhattan asking for money, then she may
need more help than you think.
THAT has got to be one of the most dangerous activities that I can think of.
How did you happen to come upon this information?
First, you need to be SURE that this is really happening.
Then…just be out there on the streets where she frequents.
When you see her, walk straight up to her and ask her what she is doing?
I’ll assume that she still lives under your roof???
You take her home and ground her till she’s 18…for her own safety.
Some serious lack-of-trust issues here. Punishing would be a terrible idea.
Wonder what she does to get that money from strangers….
Punishment will only make matters worse. What you need to do is find out why she lied, and why she is begging for money on the streets. If you are providing for all her needs, there may be something else that she needs money for, and that is very worrisome.
If any “punishment” is appropriate, it would be closely monitoring and possibly restricting her activities, but not to punish, to keep her safe.
It’s possible she finds it FUN to hang out in Manhattan talking to strangers and panhandling. It’s possible that makes her feel free. (I hope that she’s not taking drugs, not real drugs - that would be bad.)
Be kind, be motherly, but at the same time be a SISTER. Understand, don’t punish. Advise and nudge, don’t try “grounding her.” That probably won’t work.
One possibility: send her on an adventure to another country where she’ll be in a new situation with a group of people and her need for exploration will be fulfilled.
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