friends help: Why can’t I let people in?

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Why can’t I let people in?

I have never had a close group of friends. I have had only one serious relationship and she broke up with me and it devastated me and never let anyone in like that again. I am not close with any of my family my parents are divorced i don’t talk to my dad at all, I have two brother one is less than two years older than me, and the second is almost exactly two year younger, I don’t live at home anymore because I am at college but when I am home I avoid my family as much as possible, I sneak in the back door and go to my room they usually don’t know I am home until they see my car a few hours later. I don’t keep in touch with people when I move, Which has happened a lot. And I just don’t talk about myself at all, and never seem to make new friends when I do move.

I feel like I am incapable of loving people, and unloveable

This open post was written 1 year, 7 months ago | V/U/S: 724, 9, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.

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relationship, anymore, college, friends, Family, group, Close (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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Anonymous changed the tags on this post: they were "relationship, back door, anymore, college, friends, Family, sneak, older, group, Close" 1 year, 7 months ago.

ilivelife 11 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 7 months ago (5 minutes after post)

I guess the question isn’t why, but is it a problem?

Some people are just natural loners, prefer their own company, and there is nothing wrong with that.

Are you saying you aren’t happy with the way things are?

Help me with: What is the best song to wake up to in the morning to get your day off to a good start?

Anonymous #
1 year, 7 months ago (8 minutes after post)

Yeah I do like to be alone a bit, but i have always enjoyed like two or three really close people in my life and it use to be that way but I fear the rejection that I have stopped talking to people all together

Zirbel 4 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 7 months ago (16 minutes after post)

Maybe this could help a bit:

“How to Lose Shyness and Social Anxiety - 3 Main Tips to a Better Social Life”:
http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Lose…

“How To Lose Your Shyness Step By Step”:
http://www.squidoo.com/how-to-lose-yo…

“How To Overcome Shyness When Meeting People”:
http://www.essortment.com/overcome-sh…

“How to Stop Worrying · Self-Help Strategies for Anxiety Relief”:
http://helpguide.org/mental/anxiety_s…

ilivelife 11 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 7 months ago (17 minutes after post)

Going through a relationship break up is hard, and if you are the one who was rejected it is even harder.

However, if you let that one previous rejection affect the rest of your life that is a terrible shame.

Maybe you could start by trying to reconnect with your family - they aren’t going to reject you (they’ll always be your family) - and it’ll give you the contact and companionaship you are missing without the pressure of trying to get to know new people, make a good impression etc.

Start small and build up to widening your social circle.

Help me with: What is the best song to wake up to in the morning to get your day off to a good start?

Anonymous #
1 year, 7 months ago (25 minutes after post)

Its not just the one breakup, it is asking people out. it is also i have lost my friends by them moving on or me moving, I have been rejected by most of the people I know. Me and my brothers get into physical altercations a lot. and I have never know my dad even before my parents got divorced i never saw my dad he spends more time out of the country than in because he travels for business.

ilivelife 11 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 7 months ago (1 hour, 3 minutes after post)

People do move around and lose touch - I have friends that have gone to NZ, Canada,& all over the UK, and I have moved away from friends and family - but that isn’t rejection, it’s just people’s lives taking a different course.

You said you didn’t keep in touch with people when you moved on, why not?

If you have had relationships you clearly are capable of loving & being loved, even if things didn’t work out, so try not to be too negative.

All I can say is keep persevering, keep putting yourself out there, and cherish the friendships you do have, don’t take people for granted or write them off because you aren’t living close to them any more.

Help me with: What is the best song to wake up to in the morning to get your day off to a good start?

Anonymous #
1 year, 7 months ago (2 hours, 4 minutes after post)

ilivelife wrote:
All I can say is keep persevering, keep putting yourself out there, and cherish the friendships you do have, don’t take people for granted or write them off because you aren’t living close to them any more.

Thank you for listening to my rant and talking to me, I really appreciate your help

ilivelife 11 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 7 months ago (2 hours, 35 minutes after post)

No worries! If you need to rant, this is the place!

Help me with: What is the best song to wake up to in the morning to get your day off to a good start?

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