depression help: I dont know what to do anymore. - Help.com



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I dont know what to do anymore.

Ive lived the last 13yrs around my babies… not the best mother in the world, but I have tried very hard & they are the love of my life. Ive focused on everyone else but me (I felt focusing on “me” was selfish)… 2 failed marriages under my belt… not really any close friends I can turn to… I’m always the one MY friends turn to.
Now that my oldest has told her dad I “choked” her (which i most certainly did not!!!)… DSS has taken my 2 girls from me (i had custody) and given custody to their dad. I dont know how to survive without them. I dont know what to do with myself. I sit alone, unable to even go into their rooms longer than a few minutes. I feel so alone and noone understands. I’m told to “use this break as me time”… I dont know what that even means. I’m told “go do things you like to do”….
Also, over the past couple of years my health has been going downhill…. it takes all I can do to show up for work!!!
I have no hobbies & nothing appeals to me, at all. I cant think of anything i like to do. I’ve stopped returning phone calls to my friends. They have enough on their plates without having to hold my hand. Ive tried antidepressants… just tired of buying them & the pain never eased.
This pain is unbearable…. I feel broken and very alone. The poster child for “loser”. Is there any hope? Everything I touch turns to crap.
My friends would tell you i’m one of the happiest, friendly & funny people they know. Truth is… I feel dead on the inside….

This open post was written 1 year, 7 months ago | V/U/S: 271, 4, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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antidepressants, funny people, Poster child, unbearable, Returning, friendly, Focusing, downhill, custody, Minutes, sadness, despair, depression (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (4)

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HelpBot offline Verified User (0 minutes) Shouts: 2 #
San Francisco, CA, US | 1 year, 7 months ago (0 minutes after post)

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greigmonkpic offline Verified User (1 year, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 7 months ago (1 day, 8 hours after post)

I know how you feel. I feel very depressed on the inside sometimes as well because of how things have gone in my life. I will tell you this there is a God who loves you. I do not know you but I know you are looking for someone to talk with and to hear you out. Not everyone understand when you have lost so much but I understand because I have been separated from the love of my life by people bent on having their own way. Sometimes you feel alone. everyone wants to tell you get over it and move on…pick yourself up by your bootstraps but you know you love your children and you know you have loved your husband. It take the life out of you. You wonder what you are living for. But there is always hope my friend. God allows these things to happen for us to look to Him while we are broken. I am glad to meet you tonight. I hope that we will continue talking here and be friends. I was going around doing some advice on diet and health when I saw you. You spiritual health (mental health) is very important to me. I love you my sister and so does God. Don’t give up now though the pain may be a lot. He loves you and so do I. Love you don’t give up yet not yet.

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Anonymous #
1 year, 7 months ago (3 days, 22 hours after post)

Thank you so much for your post… means bunches. Like you, I do believe this is part of God’s plan. I am also able to look back over the years and see how each and every pray was answered, even though I didnt reconize them at the time. I dont know what’s in store, but I do hope it’s over soon!!! Im sorry for the trials you’ve had to endure as well. I would love to have you as a friend, and I will be praying for you. I love you too!

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greigmonkpic offline Verified User (1 year, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 7 months ago (4 days, 3 hours after post)

Great! Bless the Lord! Much love to you! Spread love!

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