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I dont know what to do anymore.
Ive lived the last 13yrs around my babies… not the best mother in the world, but I have tried very hard & they are the love of my life. Ive focused on everyone else but me (I felt focusing on “me” was selfish)… 2 failed marriages under my belt… not really any close friends I can turn to… I’m always the one MY friends turn to.
Now that my oldest has told her dad I “choked” her (which i most certainly did not!!!)… DSS has taken my 2 girls from me (i had custody) and given custody to their dad. I dont know how to survive without them. I dont know what to do with myself. I sit alone, unable to even go into their rooms longer than a few minutes. I feel so alone and noone understands. I’m told to “use this break as me time”… I dont know what that even means. I’m told “go do things you like to do”….
Also, over the past couple of years my health has been going downhill…. it takes all I can do to show up for work!!!
I have no hobbies & nothing appeals to me, at all. I cant think of anything i like to do. I’ve stopped returning phone calls to my friends. They have enough on their plates without having to hold my hand. Ive tried antidepressants… just tired of buying them & the pain never eased.
This pain is unbearable…. I feel broken and very alone. The poster child for “loser”. Is there any hope? Everything I touch turns to crap.
My friends would tell you i’m one of the happiest, friendly & funny people they know. Truth is… I feel dead on the inside….
Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.
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