Family help: Conned out of £30,000! - Help.com

Conned out of £30,000!

Ok here’s the story. (I only found out about all this a week ago on 5/11/11)
My sister got with a new boyfriend last year and quickly became pregnant. Soon after, they got engaged on holiday in Turkey and he bought her a £900 ring.
Little did I know that he had talked my Mom into taking out a £14,000 loan for him saying he had a lump sum coming later in the year and would pay it off. She agreed and also opened an account for him in her name and gave him the card so he could get money paid into that account and use it to pay off the loan.
Soon the problems began to emerge, a VERY serious gambling addiction came to light.
They were struggling for money, he pawned her ring and gambled the money just 3 weeks after they got back. My sister even went to the shop and asked for milk saying she’d pay them back later so she could feed her son, she was heavily pregnant at the time too.
My Mom found out about the ring so the next day gave her £350 to get it back because she knew how upset she was over it. After she left, my sister called her in tears saying he took the envelope and ran out of the house.
Cutting this short, he has since stolen my Mom’s identity and taken out a further £14,000 of loans out in my Mom’s name. He was helping with decorating the house in January but Mom didn’t realise that the only reason he was helping was because he had ordered the loan paperwork as her and he wanted to be at the house in the morning when the post arrived.
He took my sisters key and went to the house while Mom was at work and he claimed these loans, forging her signature PERFECTLY, he also went through her paperwork and discovered she has an isa account and he emptied that of £1,500.
All of these loans and transfers were paid into the account in my Mom’s name for which she had given him the card to use.
My sister smashed the laptop in a rage when he was using it to gamble, there is no money, nothing to show at all.
He even stopped my Mom seeing the kids and my sister went along with it because she’s so scared that he’ll go out and gamble again and make things worse.
We live Near Wolverhampton and he’s moved them all up to Northampton far away, we’re totally cut off from them now.
Mom got a court order the other day so she called the police, she said now that she is liable she can’t cover for him no matter how my sister feels about it, but the banks have said she broke the banking code by giving him the card in the first place and even if we do prove all of the frauds he’s committed she still took the first loan out in her name.
She’s 57 years old, works with stroke patients every day, never taken a loan out, always been amazing with money, managed to save, there’s no mortgage and just before retirement she loses EVERYTHING she’s ever worked for. We’re probably going to be forced to sell the house to pay off the loans and move into a motorhome.
Let’s just say I cannot cope with this, I feel suicidal over it. What are we supposed to do? We never asked for this, we’ve been through so much suffering, it feel like our family is cursed. I’ve not long been released from jail for a crime I didn’t commit, how much more can this family take? I’m on the edge here.
Before anybody starts saying how stupid my Mom was to agree to the loan and to keep her mouth shut once she found out about the identity fraud, or how stupid my sister is for staying with this guy, knowing where to point the finger is not the advice I’m looking for, I know the mistakes that they made but focussing on that isn’t gonna help me find a solution here, they’ve been emotionally conned through all this and it obviously ran very quickly out of their control and didn’t know what to do for the best.
Are there any solutions out there? Or is this it, is this what’s gonna happen?
PLEASE HELP - - - DESPERATE - - -

This closed post was written 1 year, 6 months ago | V/U/S: 3,174, 33, 11 | Edit Post | Report Post


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Since writing this post tester201 may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. tester201 is a verified member, has been around for 1 year, 6 months and has 2 posts and 8 replies to their name.

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HelpBot offline Verified User (0 minutes) Shouts: 2 #
San Francisco, CA, US | 1 year, 6 months ago (0 minutes after post)

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tester201 changed the tags on this post: they were "identity, Solution, She Was, Quickly, Account, Family, stupid, Order, fraud, Cover, identity theft, Con" 1 year, 6 months ago.

forsakentenshi offline Verified User (6 years) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
BD | 1 year, 6 months ago (9 minutes after post)

A lawyer will probably be able to sort this out. Also, you guys could sue him.

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barbyman offline Verified User (5 years, 11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 6 months ago (10 minutes after post)

Seriously in Trouble… Unfortunately the Banks want the Money.. The Guy will go to Jail for fraud and the house will be sold.. There is no other Way out,unless you find a nice old Sugar Daddy paying back the Money.. I’m not putting your Mum down i put your Sister down….

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tester201 offline Verified User (1 year, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 6 months ago (14 minutes after post)

I agree, the person I am most angry with is the guy obviously but I judge my sister somewhat over this, she’s my sister and I love her but she could have got out of this a long time ago. If my Mom met a guy and he started doing all these things to my sister, the police would have been instantly called, baby or no baby.
I’m not upset with my Mom, she’s a wonderful person who’s been taken for a ride. I’m disappointed that she broke her rule and it so happened to be with the wrong person but she had a lot on her plate with me away, and the trail really took it out of her too

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Siren offline Verified User (4 years, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 6 months ago (15 minutes after post)

might not be able to do anything about the first loan since your mum agreed to it, but you should be able to atleast about the other stuff, have you gone to the police about this?

also you might be able to sue him for the cash he stole, speak to citezens advice about this

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Help me with: DEAR ALL HELP USERS:
tester201 offline Verified User (1 year, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 6 months ago (21 minutes after post)

Yeah I think citizens advice is the best first port of call. The police were told on Monday and we were given a crime number. They said Mom needs to contact all the loan companies and be put through to the fraud department and it becomes a matter for the bank. There’s just some uncertainty regarding the account used as it was in Mom’s name, hopefully IP address and CCTV footage will help prove it, but I dunno where Mom’s gonna get the £17k from which is the original loan plus interest. We need a miracle

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Robben offline Verified User (1 year, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 7 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 6 months ago (45 minutes after post)

Your mother has seriously ham-stringed herself legally by not immediately reporting this to the creditors identity fraud department (you can report it to one and they’ll report it to all your creditors). The first thing you (or your mother) needs to do is get a copy of her credit report in detail and to document all unauthorised debts incurred, calling the creditors for further details if necessary. You can get your credit report from companies easily found via a search engine for a small fee.

Then contact the company Action Fraud via the link below. They specialise in this sort of problem and will provide you with further advice - one advantage that you do have is that you know who the thief is. From the information you’ve given, there will be plenty of evidence to prove that the individual had unauthorised access to your mothers accounts, which is a matter the Police will prosecute.

These thieves are ruthless and insidious. They will prey on the trusting and the weak and they will strip assets to the bone. Above is the practical advice you need to mount a defence. On top of this you need to contact a solicitor immediately, because it is impossible to walk you through the best route to recovery without access to the finer details of your family’s situation. Lastly, take a deep breath, step back, write down in bullet points what you’re going to do about it, and act with some clarity. These people rely on emotionally crippling their victims and its working on you - don’t let it.

Best case for you is the boyfriend will be allocated the debt, and he will be charged with several counts of fraud. However the liquid assets he stole from your family are probably gone forever, if as you say, he has a gambling addiction he doesn’t have anything to repay. It was unclear from your original post, but if your mother still has access to her card and account; she doesn’t have to pay for anything on it without her permission UNLESS the company can prove that she acted fraudulently or without due care. I would not mention the specifics of how he obtained her information until you’ve spoken to a solicitor. The creditors will use that to hit you will all the debt.

I hope all that was somehow helpful but this is a very difficult area to litigate because there are so many factors to consider when allocating blame - mainly between due care and actual fraud. The main weapon you have at your disposal is the fact that you know who committed the fraud, so the creditors have somebody else to go after.

http://www.actionfraud.org.uk/

Source: I’m an Associate Attorney.

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mumstheword offline Verified User (4 years, 12 months) Long Term User Shouts: 36 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 6 months ago (1 hour, 2 minutes after post)

Hi there.

What a dreadful state of affairs to find yourselves in.

First off, try not to apportion blame on anyone but HIM. Your sister made mistakes, but when conmen get their grip on someone, it’s sometimes impossible to see reality even when it hits you in the face.

Citizens Advice will certainly be able to help you with good advice on staying out of debt etc.

If you qualify for legal aid, please consult a good solicitor asap. I am not convinced that the banks aren’t negating on their obligations here somewhat. It’s not clear to me whether your mother deliberately tried to mislead the bank in creating a false account on his behalf or whether she simply opened her own account and asked him to pay into it? Even if she gave him permission to have unlimited access to her account, a good solicitor should be able to at least challenge the bank over their blanket “it’s your own fault” line. After all, are they saying that any pensioner/disabled person who asks a relative to help them get their pension out is guilty of being a fool? You may want to push the bank further on this. They will, after all, be looking for any excuse not to pay up!

You do not mention what the court order was about. I’m presuming it was for defaulting on a loan? If the bank truly believed that your mother had behaved fraudulently, then you should have been approached by investigators/the police/the courts.. if they haven’t, maybe it’s because they realise that they do not have a strong case? Unfortunately I cannot guide you specifically on this as I do not know all the details.

You need to work with the police and keep insisting that they investigate HOW this man managed to steal your mother’s identity. There will be evidence somewhere. Do not give up on that.

Follow the police advice exactly. Contact each and every one of the loan companies - preferably by email or letter. The police are right. If you officially complain to the companies hounding you, the bank will have to sit up and do something about it!

It will take some time for the police wheels to turn and for them to get a case together. But even if they cannot help with a criminal prosecution, your mother can still apply to the courts herself with a civil action potentially.

Don’t panic about the debt. Yes, it all seems too much to bear right now, but Citizens Advice will help you to sort out some of the mess. You might also want to take a look at their site which has some encouraging help until you can speak to someone direct:

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/index/y…

http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/loan…

Whatever happens, do not be tempted by schemes that seem to offer the magic solution.. be very very wary as you are a prime target for rogues right now. They tend to home in on those who are desperate and you can end up in an even worse situation very quickly!

Take time to read things through, keep calm and try not to let anyone bully you into drastic action. Tell anyone who calls that the matter is in the hands of the police and that they will be contacted by fraud investigators. (Another reason to crack on and report this to company fraud departments..)

There are plenty of options available to you even if this debt cannot be resolved. On no account give up your home. Stay there and work through this. If you give up your home to pay off the debt, he will get away with his crime and you will not receive any support from your local council if you need housing help.

Dont worry. There are people out there like SHELTER who can help you stay in your home. You may wish to speak to someone there too? They have come across situations similar to this before.

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tester201 offline Verified User (1 year, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 6 months ago (1 hour, 4 minutes after post)

Thank you for the advice Robben, I’m not sure of the state of the account at this time. I guess she should block all access to it because I can’t see him paying any more back on the original loan. You have described him well and clearly know your line of work.
I will look into all routes you have outlined and be sure my mother see’s your post too.
Thanks again

ps I meant to say trial before, not trail

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mumstheword offline Verified User (4 years, 12 months) Long Term User Shouts: 36 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 6 months ago (1 hour, 10 minutes after post)

so busy muddling through some kind of reply there that I failed to notice Robben had already written some excellent advice.

Thanks Robben!

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Dr. Ralph offline Verified User (4 years, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 6 months ago (1 hour, 11 minutes after post)

That’s why we all have guns in the USA. People like this would never go to trial. They would just disappear.

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tester201 offline Verified User (1 year, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 6 months ago (1 hour, 16 minutes after post)

Well thanks to both mumstheword and Robben, I shall take this advice and help encourage my Mom with it and take some encouragement myself. She’s out tonight enjoying herself with friends so I will go over this with her tomorrow.
And Dr. Ralph I feel I’m lucky I don’t live in the States and have access to a gun because I have never felt so much anger towards one person before and don’t know what I would do if I came face to face with him.
I personally think he should be kicked out yesterday but I daren’t contact them because that would seriously rock the boa with me and Mom, she just needs me to stay calm and bite my tongue right now, as much as that sucks

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tester201 offline Verified User (1 year, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 6 months ago (1 hour, 16 minutes after post)

*boat

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mumstheword offline Verified User (4 years, 12 months) Long Term User Shouts: 36 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 6 months ago (1 hour, 16 minutes after post)

He’s still living there?

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tester201 offline Verified User (1 year, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 6 months ago (1 hour, 19 minutes after post)

Yes and in my opinion he’s a danger to my sister and the kids, their new landlord wants them out already, they only moved in August and he’s defaulted on every payment so far. The kids are the biggest worry, I don’t know what’s so hard about just kicking him out, he doesn’t deserve a home

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Robben offline Verified User (1 year, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 7 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 6 months ago (1 hour, 20 minutes after post)

You’re welcome Tester. These situations are distressing but there are ways to deal with it. I hope it works out favourably for you and your family.

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mumstheword offline Verified User (4 years, 12 months) Long Term User Shouts: 36 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 6 months ago (1 hour, 26 minutes after post)

The best you can do for your sister is to be supportive and be prepared. You will also need to be candid. He evidently has a strong hold over her emotionally - so anything you discuss could be passed on to him. Be careful to play your cards close to your chest so as not to upset any police investigation of him.

If he has defaulted on rent, then your sister and her children may need a place to go very soon.

Here are Shelter’s details in case you need them:

http://england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice

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mumstheword offline Verified User (4 years, 12 months) Long Term User Shouts: 36 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 5 months ago (1 week, 4 days after post)

Do you mean Holland?

Oh.. and did you REALLY see the OP’s email on a different site?

Methinks not.

We at help.com are not as green as we are cabbage-looking. Bye bye.

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tester201 offline Verified User (1 year, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 5 months ago (2 weeks after post)

People trying to continue to con us even on this site by spamming loan companies. How sick, and using religion as a friendly approach. Shame on you.
I’m a Pagan anyway, God doesn’t mean the same thing to me as it does to you.
To all others who helped, thank you very much.
Things are moving on, there’s a bit of blame shifting between the banks and police but we understand it is down to the banks to report the fraud and most are complying yet others are still trying to say they can’t act until they have a crime reference number but we can’t get one as these are crimes committed against the banks as far as the authorities are concerned.
Barclays got in touch just ten days after we informed them of the fraudulent activity and they told my Mom that although they cannot discuss what they’ve found because it’s just not policy to do so, they could tell her they have a thick file of evidence against him so it won’t be long until he hears a familiar “knock, knock, knock” and the game’s up. Just got to get my sister back down here with family so she’s not up there alone .

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mumstheword offline Verified User (4 years, 12 months) Long Term User Shouts: 36 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 5 months ago (2 weeks after post)

I’m so pleased that things are making some progress.

If Barclays have amassed evidence that shows he is guilty of fraud elsewhere.. then I think it’s safe to say that your mother can rest easy.

I’m not sure about the crime reference number situation.. normally that’s the number that you are given when you first report the matter to the police? I would also have thought that, since your mother is the victim of a crime, she should have been given a reference number? Strange.

Make sure that you keep a diary/log of EVERYTHING that you are told, every call, every letter, every visit and discussion until things are fully resolved.

Hopefully your sister will soon realise just what she is up against with him. It may take that knock on the door for her to come to her senses though. Unfortunately, he sounds like a very controlling person who is extremely skilled at the con game. It is going to be hard for her to acknowledge that she has been taken in as he will have woven a tight web of charm and knitted her emotions firmly into his trap.

I do wish you all the best. And yes, what a sick world we live in where people can target those already struggling with yet more evil scams. But don’t worry, they do get reported when they turn up here.

Good luck with it all and thanks for the update.

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mumstheword offline Verified User (4 years, 12 months) Long Term User Shouts: 36 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 5 months ago (3 weeks, 1 day after post)

Good day larry.

Nobody needs your loans here thank you.

Good bye larry.

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mumstheword offline Verified User (4 years, 12 months) Long Term User Shouts: 36 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 5 months ago (1 month after post)

Ah.. but you are fibbing because I very much doubt the OP left their email address on another site for you to find, and if they did, you would surely use it to give direct contact!

Lying to people is not friendly advice. Neither is telling them to go **** themselves.

And no, you may not give email addresses out on here.

PS. Scammers are notoriously bad at spelling where they live.

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☠wUt☠ offline Verified User (5 years, 10 months) Help.com Volunteer Moderator Long Term User Shouts: 37 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 5 months ago (1 month after post)

omg a loan scammer ACTUALLY replied back? this is such a rarity… wow

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mumstheword offline Verified User (4 years, 12 months) Long Term User Shouts: 36 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 5 months ago (1 month after post)

I have my popcorn ready for the next one…

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