boyfriend help: OK, am I an alcoholic? - Help.com

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You might be. Most people who feel in which they drink too much, usually are. This is called a moment of clarity. You might be what they call a functioning alcoholic.

I personally don’t believe alcoholism is genetically hereditary. Perhaps your penchant for drinking was due to you witnessing the repeated behavior of your father. Thinking this is what an adult does. If this is the case you can ‘unlearn’ your behavior.

If you think sadness or depression is what is driving your drinking. Then you need direct counseling. Because the normal depressive qualities of alcohol can quickly spiral your depressed feelings out of control.

Both require you to quit.

I can’t say for certain whether you’re an alcoholic… however, you’re obviously concerned about it so that speaks volumes. Also…when you say it’s getting difficult to hide- some alarm bells are going off there too. I don’t mean to alarm you at all, but I was raised by alcoholics and their drinking habits were similar to yours, however- that doesn’t mean you are an alcoholic.
How would you feel and how would you cope if you suddenly stopped drinking? (I’m not suggesting you suddenly stop drinking by the way)
Do you have love and lust in your life at the moment?

Drinking becomes a problem when we feel we cannot operate or function without it.
It might be an idea to visit the doctor - see what they have to say about it.

I was really interested in what you said about family and alcoholism. I don’t drink because my doctor warned me as a teenager that alcoholism runs in families. 3 of my grandparents were alcoholics - all died from alcoholism related diseases. Both my parents were also alcoholics. My father’s three siblings are all alcoholics and I’m getting increasingly concerned about one of my sibling’s drinking habits. Just shows you, doesn’t it?

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Plus, alcoholism/drug addiction is a tricky thing. One example is one guy drank becasue he was alone/lonely. But his drinking kept from forming relationships.

Another is drinking helped in meeting people but when she sobered up that confidence went away and the relationship fizzled quickly after that.

Another situation is two alcoholics or heavy drinkers pair up and when one finally outdrinks the other, which could mean one either quits, gets into serious trouble with the law and can no longer contribute to the relationship - it fizzles. This type of relationship usually takes years and sometimes lasts decades. But it always ends when one or both quit drinking/drugging. There is no common interest.

You sound like a really smart woman. It would be a shame to let your drinking potentially ruin everything you have worked so hard for. There is time and there is no reason to hit bottom. You may be just a heavy drinker. Drinking to releave the stress of lonelyness due to your work on your doctorate. Not as bad as a motive but, still very dangerous.

I warn you if you do talk to a councilor he or she will say the same thing, “You will need to quit drinking.” This may be the toughest thing you ever do and you may need lots of help. Luckily, there are many different avenues.

I hope and pray things work out for you.

Mr_Grit wrote:
Plus, alcoholism/drug addiction is a tricky thing. One example is one guy drank becasue he was alone/lonely. But his drinking kept from forming relationships.

Another is drinking helped in meeting people but when she sobered up that confidence went away and the relationship fizzled quickly after that.

Another situation is two alcoholics or heavy drinkers pair up and when one finally outdrinks the other, which could mean one either quits, gets into serious trouble with the law and can no longer contribute to the relationship - it fizzles. This type of relationship usually takes years and sometimes lasts decades. But it always ends when one or both quit drinking/drugging. There is no common interest.

You sound like a really smart woman. It would be a shame to let your drinking potentially ruin everything you have worked so hard for. There is time and there is no reason to hit bottom. You may be just a heavy drinker. Drinking to releave the stress of lonelyness due to your work on your doctorate. Not as bad as a motive but, still very dangerous.

I warn you if you do talk to a councilor he or she will say the same thing, “You will need to quit drinking.” This may be the toughest thing you ever do and you may need lots of help. Luckily, there are many different avenues.

I hope and pray things work out for you.

That’s interesting what you say about alcoholics pairing up. I can see a lot of truth in this, Mr Grit.

I wish it wasn’t. Thank you SJ. There are other styles of ‘relationships,’ but wanted to touch on a few so the OP could see there is not a ’standard’ alcoholic. That type of beast has many different forms.

Mr_Grit wrote:
I wish it wasn’t. Thank you SJ. There are other styles of ‘relationships,’ but wanted to touch on a few so the OP could see there is not a ’standard’ alcoholic. That type of beast has many different forms.

Absolutely - good post
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