boyfriend help: I’m in love with my friend who has a boyfriend. - Help.com



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I’m in love with my friend who has a boyfriend.

How do I deal with it?

I’ve been friends with my current crush for a few months now and I’ve developed really strong feelings for her. I literally think she maybe the girl of my dreams and someone I could spend the rest of my life with. The problem is that she just got back together with her ex boyfriend a few weeks ago and I’ve been taking it really hard. The crazy thing is before she got back together with her ex I told her I liked her and wanted to take her out for real. She said yes and we were about to make official plans and then the ex comes into the equation thus making the rest history. She felt really bad about the whole thing and still wanted to be friends which we still are, but her reasoning was the fact that they had a lot of great history and that she still liked him. So now its been a few weeks and I can’t stop thinking about her cause I’m convinced that she’s the perfect girl for me. I’ve been having a tough time controlling my feelings about the whole thing and I’m kinda a mess. Though here’s the catch with the whole thing, she will be going home for winter break which is 12 hours from where we go to school and her bf lives hear in the area. Also next semester she’ll be studying abroad and won’t be back until the summer. My thoughts are that they won’t be together by the time she gets back from her trip and I may have a shot during the summer. But if they are still together by then idk how to deal with the whole thing. Does anyone think it would be a good idea to tell her how I feel before she leaves to study abroad? Or should I just wait and see what happens by the time she gets back? I’m really confused on how to deal with this whole thing and would appreciate any advice I could get! Also does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this whole thing emotionally? I’m such a wreck right now and its awful.

This open post was written 1 year, 5 months ago | V/U/S: 467, 4, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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going home, Right Now, boyfriend, Right Now, Reasoning, Equation, feelings, Official, current, history, dating (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (4)

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Rapture offline Verified User (5 years) Long Term User Shouts: 4 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 5 months ago (40 minutes after post)

lol

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Help me with: I want to apologise for the way i said those hoerrible things i meant
Rapture offline Verified User (5 years) Long Term User Shouts: 4 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 5 months ago (41 minutes after post)

respect that your friend is with someone and look at your own life.

if it happens it happens but dont wait around

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Help me with: I want to apologise for the way i said those hoerrible things i meant
So offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 5 months ago (57 minutes after post)

Don’t say anything, you told her how you felt and she made the decision to chose him, you will just make things difficult for her. If you truly love her you will support the choice she made and wish her happiness in her relationship, not failure. If there ever comes a time where it doesn’t work out then maybe it will be your time, but you want this to be her decision. Be a friend to her and care for her, move along wih your life. If its hard think about how good you are to her, and how happy you are making her being there for her

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linuxya offline Verified User (6 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 5 months ago (1 hour, 18 minutes after post)

Give her distance.

Focus on building a new life for yourself.

The more you hang around her the worse you will feel.

Look, she seems perfect because you’re obsessing over her. That’s a natural function of romantic interest. But it does NOT mean she’s perfect for you. I’ve had the same strong feelings about women who later turned out to be totally inappropriate for me.

Get some distance. Wish her well. And go start dating.

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