I resent my father-in-law’s cheapness!
uggh. i really would rather not resent him. but i do. He is very well off - I know that many people will think that maybe I don’t know of his true circumstances, but I do so just take my word on this. He is a high level executive but he has just been cheap all his life. the cheapness is really ingrained in him. I could give you multiple examples of this. My husband and I are financially comfortable so my resentment doesn’t come from us needing his money. It comes from him being so blatantly cheap. Once he gave my husband the free bbq tools he got at the bank as a birthday present - they were good but, if it was my parents and they got something free that they didn’t need or want, they would just give it to me or my siblings - not save it and make it a birthday present. He once gave my husband a combination birthday/graduation/engagement gift - really. The gift would have warranted being the engagement gift based on the cost but he threw in the other 2 occasions as well. So he comes to Christmas dinner at my house. After dinner we exchange the family presents (Santa came earlier in the morning). He gave my girls each a $10 toy. I know that would be a fine amount to spend for some people based on their circumstances - but in my book it’s just cheap, especially from a grandparent. My husband resents it a lot, too, but I feel like I do more. I don’t want to be so petty. I actually always look up the cost of his gifts because I know he’ll be so cheap and I want to see just how cheap he was this time. He even duplicated the same cheap gift that he gave last Christmas to one of my 2 daughters - a little light-up, plastic book from fisher price. How can I shake this pettiness and let go of the resentment? I know I should think that it’s the thought that counts. I know I shouldn’t over-analyze a present or even waste my brain space thinking about it for too long - but these are my feelings. Anyone have tips on just letting the bad vibes go? I don’t know how to just accept him for who he is without always having a little resentment in the back of my mind.
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