friends help: My best friends brother. - Help.com



This post left anonymously

My best friends brother.

I’m 18 years old. Just so you don’t go into reading this thinking I’m a stupid, clueless teenager.

I have this best friend. Alexis. We’ve been best friends since freshman year or high school. And she has a brother. Zach. Only like a year younger. I have never thought about him anymore then a friend. He was basically like a brother.
Well, this past summer I was gone for 10 weeks at basic trainging for the national guard. When I got home, I spent a lot of time with my friend. Then one day I was at her house and we were watching a movie. It was me, alexis, and zach and his friend brandon. Alexis and brandon fell asleep but zach and I were still awake. We put in another movie but just ended up laying on the floor talking. We had to whisper since everyone else was asleep, so we were kinda close together. Then we got quiet and he asked what I was thinking. I said nothing. But what I was really thinking was that I liked laying there talking to him. He’s a sweet guy and I’ve known him for a long time. Then I asked him what he was thinking. He said “you know what I’m thinking.” After going back and forth trying to figure out what he was thinking, he said it. “I want to kiss you right now. I’ve wanted to since before you left for basic training. I like you.” Inside, I felt soooo happy! So he kissed me. He kissed me a few times. We ended up laying there and talking till about 5 in the morning.
I told alexis the next day. I thought she would hate me. Or be upset. She wasn’t though. She was like “that’s so exciting! I figured he liked you!”
There is one problem though. A big problem. He has a girlfriend. They just started dating like 2 weeks before he kissed me. I’m not gonna lie, I legit felt terrible the next morning. I was just so caught up in the moment that I didn’t realize what I was doing.
About 2 months later I was at their house, but alexis wasn’t. Zach and I were talking and… well, I let him kiss me again. I told myself I wouldn’t let him. But istarted to like him. And no, its not because he kissed me. He wrote me letters while I was at basic and when I got home he was super nice to me.

I was talking to alexis the other day. I told her exactly how I was feeling. Upset that he has a girlfriend. Mad that I let him kiss me. Dumb for not stopping him. I want to talk to him. I need to tell him what I’m thinking.

So I need advice.
1. How should I bring it up to him? He knows I like him. but I want to tell him that he needs to stop trying to kiss me when he is dating someone.
2. How can I forget about him? I keep telling myself that if he’s cheating on his girlfriend now to kiss me, then what if we date and he does it to me? Also, if he really does like me then why would he date someone else?
Please help. I know, I’m dumb. I need any advice I can get.
Please and thank you :)

This open post was written 1 year, 4 months ago | V/U/S: 519, 3, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


Reciprocity (0) Reciprocation Failure -- The poster has NOT helped anyone else yet!

Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.

Post Tags (11)

Replies (3)

Where were you?

Click and drag to move the map around. FAQ: How we place people on this map »
You can also watch events on Help.com as they happen
Mouse over the map for 2 seconds to see an expanded, interactive view

forever_younger offline Verified User (1 year, 4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 4 months ago (13 minutes after post)

1. I think the best way to bring it up would be to ask your friend if she wouldn’t mind hanging with you and Zach, sort of as a small back up just in cause you need help controlling the kisses. Than have her go into another room and just with the guy. tell exactly how your feeling and the concerns you have if you two ever did start dating. i know its hard but that’d definitely be the best way to go about it. you need to make sure he knows exactly where you two stand and where you want to be standing with each other. he wont know unless you tell him. unfortunately men aren’t mind readers.

2. Thats definitely a hard one. most men who cheat tend to cheat again and again. even if its spaced out over time. my dad cheats on my mom every 5 years almost like clock work. or at least he has the last few times. but if you really like the guy, than you could always give him a chance, and at the first sign of him being unfaithful, drop him. thats what id do at least. And dont forgot, he may be a cheater now, but you could change him =)

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Melodys offline Verified User (2 years, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 4 months ago (22 minutes after post)

I wouldn’t try and change him, and I’m proud of you for not being a stupid teenager and being blind to his faults.
I would say accountability is the best thing, and then just stop hanging around him. His character proves he is dishonest, what kind of friend is that?

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
ichsprechedeutsch offline Verified User (1 year, 4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 4 months ago (1 day, 16 hours after post)

tell him if he actually loves you he wouldn’t be dating her. and that he needs to pick one or the other.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Invite Others to Help

A logged in and verified Help.com member has the ability to setup a Friends List and invite others to help with posts.