Love help: my fiance is emotionally abusive and carrying my child. - Help.com

can you go more into detail so we could bettter help?

Is the emotional abuse a recent development?

it started lik five or six months ago

i cheated on her and at first she seemed to have forgiven me but then the verbal attacks started. suddenly i wasn’t good enough. suddenly i was the wost guy ever and she didn’t wana b around me. if she had to be around me then i had to shut up and do whatever was on her mind at that exact second. then it got physical. don’t get me wron, i love her to death but i just want to be with the woman she used to be. he woman who showed her love every day without hurting me

I’m sorry! I know how relationships can change suddenly…it’s usually unavoidable. Is the love still there between you two? That’s what’s most important.

i still love he and show it every day but i somehow feel like she has stopped loving me

Kind of a dumb question…but have you asked her if she loves you?

It’s a good talking point. Just ask her! From there, she can open up about how she feels, and from there, you can get to the bottom of why she treats you the way she does…

If she still loves you, find out why she doesn’t show it. In all honestly, she may not have forgiven you for your affair…and unfortunately, that’s something you might have to live with. People don’t always come around…

you’re exactly right. she said whn i did that, it hurt her to the point of wanting to hurt me back, and it felt so good to have that power she never stopped. we had this conversation… i understand why she does it, i just want it to stop.

Instead of dealing with her hurt feelings about your cheating in a mature way and working through them, she is taking her anger out on you in the form of abuse. She feels entitled to do this.

WARNING: she will always feel you might cheat again… that anxiety about being abandoned will cause her to act out against you continually for the foreseeable future unless she learns a more constructive way to handle her hurt feelings.

You’re going to have to sit down with her and force her to talk through all her feelings. Keep your mouth shut. However hard it is to listen, however much you want to defend yourself or make promises, just shut up and listen.

You may have to say something like, “I want to be with you, but as long as you hold this grudge against me, and as long as you are afraid I might leave you and you take that out on me on a daily basis, this relationship has no future.”