boyfriend help: Ok this is kinda a messed up story but I really need some help. - Help.com

and your age is? (important!!!!)

perceptor. wrote:
and your age is? (important!!!!)

I’m fifteen

Talk to your mum again. She must feel really strong about the meds situation. Is there any sort of compromise? Maybe you could contine taking the meds whilst looking for somewhere to live?
That way it wouldnt be an emergency situation. Avoid your drug addict aunt at all costs. You dotn say how old you are but maybe you could speak to a doctor or a counsellor to try to help you sort all of this out?

one more thing - the medication - why your mom so insist you should take it - how it is affecting you - what is it solving ?

At 15 yrs you can’t cross the border into usa without parental permission. So just be content to stay here in BC. I suggest (as mentioned above) that you try to work things out with your mom. Maybe the meds are doing more for you than you realize. Take a second look before you act rashly.

I think I would move in with grandma. I would rule… tell mommy and daddy bye thanks for the memories and hit the road. Grandma’s are way better than parents at dealing with teen angst. They just ignore it and you can go wild.

Dr. Ralph wrote:
I think I would move in with grandma. I would rule… tell mommy and daddy bye thanks for the memories and hit the road. Grandma’s are way better than parents at dealing with teen angst. They just ignore it and you can go wild.

Again, my grandma can’t really care for me.. And I’m not the kind of person to ‘go wild’ lol

Thank you for the details :)

If the meds do not work - why not taking them even if just to make your mother happy? if they really have no affect on you but they sure have positive affect on your mother - why not taking them? why the hursh refusal??

I think you are revolting in a way. do I say that because you are 15? yes.
But it does not imply that I don’t respect your opnion.
I just think that the whole situation is rooted on showing your parents that you are the new boss in your life.
You will be the boss in your life sooner or later - but I think it is best for you to use the shelter of your home instead of creating a new home. I mean it just does not seem to be a good time to do all you are setting to do.

the meds don’t work - that is for a doctor to decide is it not?

the option to switch to your boyfriend - how old is he - can he provide you a decent living - are you sure you want to put him in such a position over your life?

the option to move in with fater - doesn’t seem fisible according to what you describe and the option to move with an aunt that would danger you is worst of all.

Grandma is a nice solution but mother is mother. she carried you and broght you to this world - she will be sad if you force her hand to hold the ultimatum she gave.
parents ususally give ultimatum in order for the children to be scared of it and control them - they never want to uphold it.

I think the doctor is your solution - if he is a person you don’t trust or you think is being manipulated - ask for a diffrent doctor. in any case you should not stop meds without the approval of a doctor, especially when it linked to a problem of depression.

perceptor. wrote:
Thank you for the details :)

If the meds do not work - why not taking them even if just to make your mother happy? if they really have no affect on you but they sure have positive affect on your mother - why not taking them? why the hursh refusal??

I think you are revolting in a way. do I say that because you are 15? yes.
But it does not imply that I don’t respect your opnion.
I just think that the whole situation is rooted on showing your parents that you are the new boss in your life.
You will be the boss in your life sooner or later - but I think it is best for you to use the shelter of your home instead of creating a new home. I mean it just does not seem to be a good time to do all you are setting to do.

the meds don’t work - that is for a doctor to decide is it not?

the option to switch to your boyfriend - how old is he - can he provide you a decent living - are you sure you want to put him in such a position over your life?

the option to move in with fater - doesn’t seem fisible according to what you describe and the option to move with an aunt that would danger you is worst of all.

Grandma is a nice solution but mother is mother. she carried you and broght you to this world - she will be sad if you force her hand to hold the ultimatum she gave.
parents ususally give ultimatum in order for the children to be scared of it and control them - they never want to uphold it.

I think the doctor is your solution - if he is a person you don’t trust or you think is being manipulated - ask for a diffrent doctor. in any case you should not stop meds without the approval of a doctor, especially when it linked to a problem of depression.

The meds don’t affect the depression side of my health (not that I’m all that depressed anyway) but they give me constant stomach aches and have cut down my appetite drastically. My boyfriend is the same age as me and his parents are well of. To be honest they treat me more like a daughter than my own family. I’ve tried several doctors but they all ignore what I say in favor of my parents opinion.

so you basicly have a let’s say more preferable path which is to go live with your boyfriend and his family.

Well I can’t really blame you for that, I suppose that if I was instead of you I would want the same, it looks so glamoring and promising but you cannot really believe that it is within normal boundries of respectful behavior to go crush on someone else home just becuase your mother is insisting to protect your health.

no, that can’t be a good solution I think.

I wonder, how do you know that the doctors are giving the final decisions based on your parents opinion and not on medical factors?