Love help: What do I do about this girl? - Help.com

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Hmm. Now that is a dilemma. Do you talk with her at all? Are you friends? If you reveal your feelings out of the blue, that might be a bit odd.

I think perhaps your best option would be slow but steady. It probably sounds like a nightmare to you, but I think it reduces a lot of the risk factor that telling her could bring. What I mean is, if you’re not friends, why don’t you try and start being friends again. If you are friends, try and get a closer, more intimate relationship between the two of you. If you mutually like each other, it seems likely that you’d grow close naturally anyway. What I mean is, slowly building bridges may be more effective than putting all your eggs in one basket and then throwing it at her.

Just a quick word of caution: sometimes the heart thinks it wants something that it doesn’t have and then when it gets it, realises it was wrong. I’m not saying this is the case with you, it’s just something to be aware of. Maybe it’s a crush/infatuation rather than true love? I’m just putting the possibility out there :)

BlindOptimism wrote:
Hmm. Now that is a dilemma. Do you talk with her at all? Are you friends? If you reveal your feelings out of the blue, that might be a bit odd.

I think perhaps your best option would be slow but steady. It probably sounds like a nightmare to you, but I think it reduces a lot of the risk factor that telling her could bring. What I mean is, if you’re not friends, why don’t you try and start being friends again. If you are friends, try and get a closer, more intimate relationship between the two of you. If you mutually like each other, it seems likely that you’d grow close naturally anyway. What I mean is, slowly building bridges may be more effective than putting all your eggs in one basket and then throwing it at her.

Just a quick word of caution: sometimes the heart thinks it wants something that it doesn’t have and then when it gets it, realises it was wrong. I’m not saying this is the case with you, it’s just something to be aware of. Maybe it’s a crush/infatuation rather than true love? I’m just putting the possibility out there :)

We are friends, but we don’t talk much anymore. I like your advice about trying to be better friends again, but she’s always around other guys. I agree that building bridges will be a slow process. And it’s probably going to take a lot of courage on my part.

It’s just bothering me so much that I have trouble sleeping. Thank you for the advice. It’s nice to have someone listen than keeping it bottled up inside.

:)

It will take courage and a strong heart, but if that means you slowly get her back, it’ll be worth it, right? You won’t ‘lose’ anything by taking your time and making sure you do the right thing. Hopefully, it’ll give you momentum and direction and that will enable you to feel better and sleep more easily. Just make sure you don’t let other guys bully you out of the picture completely!

I agree with BlindOptimism. It’s better to err on the side of caution and carefully work your way towards talking and become closer as friends. Revealing your feelings to her might be a bit too overwhelming for her, thereby making ruining any chance you might have with her again.