..Minerva.. edited this post 1 year, 3 months ago. Read the previous text »
So I hate to be a whiny person with seemingly insignificant problems, but I’m feeling really low at the moment.
So I’m about 2 months pregnant and suffering from these really horrible headaches. I had a headache lasting 3 days, took paracetemol for it and it did nothing. Now the headache has come back. Add to that my job is really stressing me out… I suffer bad now with back pain if I stand up for too long, and I’m standing up for 6 hours at a time, sometimes with only 10/15 minute breaks. I have to get up at 5am tomorrow and do it all over again.
Add to that I’m all alone just now, stressed about my living situation. It’s so dark and I just feel so sh*tty.. also before I got pregnant I was doing really well with diet and exercise, losing more weight and feeling really good about myself. Now I feel totally opposite and ave gained like 5 pounds. I feel bloated, fat and unnattractive. I hate gaining weight especially knowing it’s going to be even harder to lose now. I don’t feel as desirable as I once did… I worry (stupidly) that my boyfriend will lose interest in me, I actually worry about him cheating on me a lot, but I don’t voice this concern because it sounds needy and absurd. So yeah pity me everybody…. (joking) I don’t know just wanted to get this off my chest. Thanks for reading if you take the time.
I think you’ll be fine. How long do you have to wait until you can take maternity leave?
And don’t worry about the weight. You’re preggers silly! Of course you’re going to gain weight. You’re going to have to hold out with that until you recover and get back into a routine. It won’t stay on forever, and even if it became a problem in your relationship, a responsible and loving guy would voice his concern and give you time to correct the issue….But really…Hopefully your dude is with you for more than just your thin-ness:/
Hang in there! Still a bit to go, but you can do it!
That’s my pep-talk for the day…needs some work, but maybe it’ll help a lil:D
Heh, thanks red fox. I can’t take maternity leave until 2 months before my due date, which is around early July. Seems like an awful long time and I’m struggling already. Wouldn’t be so bad if my job was something like being a secretary, or more stationary. But in my job having to stand in one spot for extended periods, moving around a lot, bending over a lot picking up heavy objects, I am tired and sore after 4 hours. But there’s nothing I can do about it really. My job actually is the cause for most of my negative feelings… I just dread working. I was even going to quit this month, but that was before I found out I was expecting. And I need the money so I can’t quit now :(
I’ve only been with my boyfriend 5 months, he seems like a great guy, but 5 months isn’t really long enough for me to know what he’ll be like. This is what worries me… I worry that this has happened too soon for him and it’ll freak him out, possibly chase him away. I fear this regardless of how he is with me (which is very good) and I don’t know how to let that go and trust him completely. I dream about him cheating and breaking up with me all the time :(
Maybe they can get you some kind of stool or something? I’m not sure about your work laws there, but they have to make some reasonable accommodations for your condition if it gets in the way of your work.
And that’s totally understandable. I guess only time will tell…but even with that, there’s people who’ve been married for years who still crumble….so time really has no meaning. It’s more about the people involved….so let’s hope that you’re both in good shape! But if not…no matter what happens you’ll be okay. Life has a funny way of working things out if you think that they can be worked out and screwing you over if you think that there’s no way out. It’s really all about perspective.
I’ve requested a stool and they have given me one, but the thing is I barely get to use it, the most I get is a sit down here and there for like 10 seconds before I have to be up and on my feet again. I live in the UK so yeah they do have to accomodate me and I guess considering the stool they are, but it doesn’t change much, if at all. I think tbh they don’t take my back pain seriously, maybe because it sounds like I’m just complaining for attention when I’m really not. It’s really bad and I’ve spoken to my doctor about it who says I just need to be stretching and take pain killers, but the pain killers do nothing. It just freakin’ sucks and there’s no remedying it.
And I agree about your point on perspective. I really am hopeful that the boyfriend and I will last, but I’ve always found it hard to trust others regardless. And now this is happening it’s thrown my head out in a loop. I keep positive most of the time but I can’t help my fears and insecurities getting a grip on me sometimes… this seems to be one of those times.
Have you started prenatal care yet? Please don’t take any meds (not even aspirin!) without consulting with your obstetrician first.
As for the weight issue, that 5 lbs. that you gained is not from the baby. The baby weighs only a few grams at this time. Please don’t think you are eating for two! Just eat a healthy diet and the baby will take what it needs from you.
Here’s a link that you might find interesting. It’s all about fetal development, month by month. http://www.justmommies.com/articles/f…
Exercise is still important. Here are some recommended for pregnant women. http://www.americanpregnancy.org/preg… Again, be sure that your doctor knows about any anticipated additions to your routine.
Here is some info about back pain during pregnancy. http://www.pregnancyandchildren.com/p… That’s a great site to check out for other information regarding your pregnancy and beyond. :)
A lot of women feel unattractive (and insecure!) during pregnancy. Please keep in mind that many, MANY men find women to be the MOST attractive during pregnancy. Haven’t you heard that pregnant women have a ‘glow’? :) It’s true!
You’re going to be fine! Whine whenever the urge strikes! lols :) Best wishes to you and your expected one!
I don’t take any other meds other than paracetemol which I have been told by my GP is the only safe one to use during pregnancy. But it’s crap, and doesn’t work with me. I’m more used to stronger painkillers.
And lol, I definitely do not eat for two. If anything I’ve been eating less than before I was pregnant. I was on the Atkins plan before, which I have found to be the best route for me because I suffer with PCOS and eating carbs for me is a big no no. Whenever I do eat carbs I get bloated and gain weight very quickly and easily. So since falling pregnant and finding out I’ve had to stop atkins and eat a more balanced diet… but it doesn’t matter, I am too sensitive to carbs and gain weight quickly. 5 pounds in 2 months of eating a diet with more than 20 grams of carbs a day (like I was on the induction phase) is a one way ticket to weight gain for me :(
As far as exercise is concerned I haven’t been ‘working out’, the most I’ve been doing is walking a few times a week for half an hour and stretching twice a day. I may need to exercise more but was told my heart rate should never exceed 140 beats per minute. No way I can track that so I’d need to invest in a heart rate monitor.
Thanks for the links, I’ll check them out.
Sounds like a brutal job to have during your pregnancy. :/ Have you discussed it with your doctor? Maybe he can issue a restriction on some duties. Can you transfer to a less strenuous position?
When I was pregnant, I ate chicken until it was coming out of my ears! For some silly reason, I felt that protein = healthy baby. Now they caution against too much of that. :/ But I was completely on the kick - fried, baked, salad, curried, sauced….lols! I’m surprised I didn’t start clucking!! Now I’m vegetarian. Go figure! :D
Did you break the news to your boyfriend yet?
Yeah it’s just a very physical job, which I was fine with before. I haven’t really stressed how bad it is to my doctor yet. Tbh I don’t know why I’m getting such bad back pains because it’s relatively early on in my pregnancy. But you know I work on all that I can, posture, stretching, taking pain relief when I need it, using hot water bottles etc, nothing really seems to work which is the most frustrating thing. I would have to find out about being able to transfer to a less strenuous position. I don’t think that’s likely, but the more I think on it the more I feel I may have to.
Lol about the chicken when you were pregnant. Yeah I spoke with my doc about what foods I should be eating and she recommended everything in moderation, and that I definitely can’t stick to atkins. Gutted. I’ve cut down majorly on things like bread, pasta a rarely eat anyway. I mostly eat lean meat, fish, lots of salad and fruit. Less vegetables because I’m not really fond of them.. lol.
Yes the boyfriend knows. He’s great about the whole thing. Which is why I feel so stupid being insecure and worried. He assures me all the time that he is solid and will never leave, always be here to care for me and the baby. He’s a real gem. Maybe that’s why I’m so afraid of losing him actually. He seems too good to be true :P
Back pain is usually in the later months but it can (and does!) happen at any time. Plus, you are more prone to general fatigue in the early months because your body is adapting to the pregnancy.
I do hope you discuss this with your doctor soon, Minerva. Lifting heavy objects is usually considered a definite ‘no-no’. :/
I’m with you! I love salads and fruits! It took time to learn how to make vegetarian fare. I’ve become very creative and can whip up some great dishes. In fact, my guests sometimes don’t know that a recipe is meatless! ;)
Awwww..I’m so happy for you that you have found one of the few gems left in this world!! You lucky girl!! I wouldn’t waste any time doubting him. You know, the ones who seem too good to be true show their true colors with a litmus test like this. The really good and true stick around. The rats quickly abandon ship! lols
Seems you have the real deal! :D
Ah okay, I thought it was strange to get bad back pain so early but I guess that makes sense. Apparently the first trimester and towards the end are the worst for fatigue and such like. I’m just waiting then for this 3 months to be over, I need relief stadt.
Yeah I will discuss it with the doc, I’ve got to go in next Monday for routine blood tests so I’ll say it then. When I was at work today I aksed them if they could help me out by lifting the heavy objects onto a trolley for me, and my friend (who is a supervisor) gladly obliged but the boss didn’t seem too happy with me making extra demands :/
I feel better today after talking to him, and getting more help at work. Unfortunately the headache is making another appearance but doesn’t seem too bad. Thanks kitten for your words of advice :)
I didn’t read a single post except for the first one because what I have to say is going to stand alone and will not go along with the group. I would just like to put in my two cents in hopes that I can maybe get a dollar back. Listen the idea that your boyfriend isn’t fully supporting you is just normal. It is just like a guys innate fear of approaching women. It is a healthy, and normal feeling but the fact that your able to recognize that you feel this way means that you are more than the feeling and without going all batshit philisophical on you, it just isn’t possible to not be able to overcome something once you recognize it is an issue. It is just like when you are in a social situation and you get nervous. You feel nervous on the inside, but in your mind you always know that you are stronger than your nerves and that there must have just been something that triggered that nervousness. Maybe it was something you did or didn’t do, but in any case it will pass. So in summary, it is ludacris to expect that you will not have negative thoughts and/or feelings but all I want is for you to recognize them, and get past them. Don’t dwell on them, but if talking about it will make you feel better then talk.
Your not needy and your not crazy and you are’t thinking any stupid things. what your feeling is just what your feeling. youve got to try to be kinder to yourself :) Try very hard not to worry about the man in your life, and your job, and external stress. worry first off about yourself. Nothing makes you brighten up like a little bit of self care. Don’t judge your own actions as needy of stupid, you don’t need another person judging you, least of all yourself :)
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A lot of what you’re going through right now is primarily biochemical. You’re pregnant. I don’t believe any other thing that can possibly happen to a woman will fool with hormones more than that. You’ve got some wild juices being injected into your bloodstream by glands and pores that you didn’t even know you had. It’s going to mess with your head. Expect that.
It’s also going to lead to physical changes in your body. Some weight gain due to changes in metabolism is possible and likely. You can also expect some enlargement in the chest area as the pregnancy progresses, and if you’re not suffering from nausea and vomitng right now, then you’re one of the lucky ones, though it may come later.
You have another living organism taking up residence in your abdomen. In fact, it’s remarkable how much similarity pregnancy has to a parasitic infection. But don’t worry. The cure is natural, and it will only take about 7 more months! Until then, try to make yourself comfortable.
the first time you have a baby is the hardest. To get in “mommy mode” whereas before you were just you. It is a hard transition. Especially the first couple months of being pregnant. Not only do you have crazy hormones kicking in making you all emotional, but your body will soon look like a beached whale (sorry). You back will hurt, you will get valcrois veins all up your legs, your skin will stretch.
It will be worth it when you see your baby the first time. You will fall in love
Hope you’re doing better now! Sounds like you’ve been under a lot of stress lately. Hope you can de-stress and relax more.
Wish you all the best!
Do you work for a large company? If I were in your position I would ask to speak with your employers HR dept and discuss options with them. If you ask, they may be able to move you into a different role temporarily given the effect on your health. The last thing an employer wants to have happen is to have an employee get health problems from their job, especially a pregnant employee. There may be a creative solution if you ask them.
Unlike everyone else who’s posted on this topic, I’m gonna tell you the truth.
You’re right.
Your boyfriend might cheat on you, you’re job is stressful and your back pain won’t go away. But all this is only because you’re being pessimistic.
Guess what, you’re pregnant and you’re still with the baby daddy. That’s usually unheard of. Don’t stress about it. If you’ve still got him after you gave him the news and he’s not running for the hills, he’s here for the long haul, weather it be that he truly loves you or that he wants to be a “real man” he’s still there so accept it and don’t think about him cheating on you cause that will only push him away.
If you don’t feel sexy, it’s probably cause you aren’t acting sexy. Put on some make up, put on a sexy dress, go out with some girlfriends, have a night to yourself, (don’t drink, bad for the baby) and live a little. Cause once you have that baby, your life is gonna change. And for all you know maybe your boyfriend will look at you in a whole different light and not even look at other women cause he’ll be looking at his sexy baby mama.
Your job is gonna stress you out. It happens. I’ve never been pregnant (obviously) but I’ve worked 13hr days and had only 30 min the whole day to be able to eat and sit. Sometimes even shorter than that. And doing that 5 days a week was rough on me. But I still pulled it out for a year. You can do this, just don’t take that stress home with you unless you’re going to go take a nice warm bath and soak for a few hours afterwards.
You can ask your boss all you want for some leeway, most likely is they won’t give it to you. Cause the fact of the matter is it’s your fault you’re pregnant, not their problem. Just pull it through, or if it’s an option financially, quit. Stress is not good for the baby, so the less you get the better you’re baby is gonna turn out and the easier the pregnancy is gonna be.
I don’t mean to sound harsh at all, but it’s all the truth. I’m not here to sugar coat anything for anyone cause honestly you’re the one who asked the question and I’m here to give you the answer.
You’re gonna be alright. Just think about what you think is right, and do the opposite cause honestly right now your hormones are fluctuating and you won’t be able to think right for the next 7 months.
Congratulations though on you’re baby.
Also visit my website and see how you can help me too :)
http://www.gofundme.com/h3qp0
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