i feel like there’s something pulling me to find a street corner to go and lay down in.
i guess it’s just depression.. i’m just so tired of trying and trying and trying. and all the pain, always there, all the time. it’s probably been like a solid 5 years now of trying to heal, but instead i’ve just been getting worse and worse. tragedy after tragedy after tragedy.
and i almost feel more isolated in a way now than i did before i began my journey of “self-discovery”. i’ve experience so many different types of things that i don’t feel like there’s anyone left for me to relate to anymore. I’ve been to Hollywood and hung out with the trendy upscale hollywood scene, partying in nightclubs and doing cocaine with glamour types and models. I’ve been traveling across the world and experienced healing and mystical things happening to me in India. I’ve lived with monks and spent time in solitude and contemplation. I’ve experience the privileged life and also hung around the poor kids when I was younger. I feel almost like there’s just nowhere left for me to go. Except within. And that’s all just too much.
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