This post left anonymously
I’m trying to play it cool, but I’m a wreck inside.
If I could see you I’d tell you.. that I’m proud of you.
I heard you hit the top city charts with your music last week. That’s really incredible.
I’d tell you that it was well deserved because NO one knows as much as I do how hard you’ve been working. All the sacrifices you’ve made. I’d tell you that I didn’t really stop following your music after we split. Ironically, the song you wrote about our break up was my favorite. But I wouldn’t tell you that.
I wouldn’t tell you that I miss you,’us’, and all the possibilities that came with that. I wouldn’t tell you that although I disappeared from all my social networking, I know you two are together now. And that it hurt me as much as you knew it would that you chose ‘that one’. I wouldn’t tell you that I noticed you don’t smile that shoot me out of the sky smile anymore in photographs, the one that shows the dimple under your left cheek. That I’m hoping it’s coincidental. I wouldn’t tell you I miss your loud laugh. The only genuine thing I could count on for so long. I wouldn’t tell you that you were my inspiration to join the service. Out of loathing for the military I know you’d laugh. I wouldn’t tell you that secretly I was grateful that I could make it through deployments without having to pain you (if we were still together) and that I knew you were in, atleast decent, hands of ‘the one’.
And most importantly, I wouldn’t tell you that now.. Now that I’ve crossed the last thing off of the list you made, though it’s ALL I want to say, I wouldn’t tell you:
I still love you. And I want to come home.
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