relationship help: Where do i start? - Help.com



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Where do i start?

.. i have always had a good relationship with my mum but at teh start of 2011 she started acting different, she was diagnosed with depression and anxity. She is over it all now with help from professionals. and we have always been there for her as a family. but at the same time an old friend of my mums came back into her life, this women has runied my relationship with my mum. first they leaned on each other becuase she was going through a difficult time too. but now this women is draggin my mum down and making her worse, this is wot she has done in teh past. Firstly i hated this women but after trying to talk to mum about how she has changed and dosent care about herself, her appearnce, her children and even her grandchilden i find myself driffing away from my mum and hating everthing about her. she cant see past this women and all she talks about is this women and this womens children. she knows this women is runing things with me, my sisters and my dad as she never leaves my mums house dosent help she lives next door to her. i hate this women and i hate to say it but im starting to hate mum becsue of it. I just dont know how to tell her how i feel anymore, wots teh point, she knows…..im gettin married in few months and this women is not invited but my mum will fall out with me when she finds out and i dont want this, i just want my mum back and the support i need rite now from her at this stressful time planning a wedding and just evday life stuff, she lives so close but feels so far away. help!

This open post was written 1 year, 3 months ago | V/U/S: 240, 2, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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relationship, depression, Planning, Fall Out, Far Away, anymore, support, She Was, wedding, months (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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HelpBot offline Verified User (0 minutes) Shouts: 2 #
San Francisco, CA, US | 1 year, 3 months ago (0 minutes after post)

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pastelskies offline Verified User (3 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 3 months ago (1 hour, 1 minute after post)

Wow, this is so hard. You have already tried confronting her. Seems family support is never there when you need them. Sometimes people need to go through their thing to realize they may lose those around that are important. Removing yourself sometimes brings attention to your value. Sometimes just your existance is not enough & you have to really add benefit and value to someone else’s life & really care about making their world a better place. That is usually the first step. If after that, removing your presence and offering support in others lives to then receive it back from other relations than family doesn’t work, then there’s something deeper going on. Would be difficult to ask your mum, but find out why she is so enthralled with this other woman. What is it about her that is fulling some need or dependancy. She could say something hurtful but you would at least find out more about the root of matters. Ask your mom if she cares anything about you. Do you care about her world? Seemed family support wasn’t there until going through a serious illness I could have died from. Then they reached out. But before that, I was doing everything to benefit them all along beforehand, with their well being in mind. Sometimes people just don’t know what they have until it’s gone, which really angers me, NOT needing loss to appreciate someone. Your mum may just need some physical or mental care. Have you outright asked your mom for her support and to be a part of your life?

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