Love help: I’m still in love with her, i kissed her this morning now she is saying she is confused and i feel as if I’m going to cry. - Help.com

You guys need some time apart to think, not to date other people but to think. Your in an emotional state, you need to be more logical this will help you weigh your options better. If she’s really into you than her desire for you could only increase.

Take time until your logical and not emotional

Yes I agree, this is not good nor fair on anyone (you, the ex. the ex. ex.). Take time off both girls, let your feelings calm down and then decide.

all you feel is WANT WANT WANT. do you understand the concept of giving? do you understand that love is giving someone else happiness? love isn’t taking what you can get from someone else. until you understand that, your love life will always be in turmoil and the woman you like will never be able to accept you.

tkleever0 wrote:
I understand that, i dont need to be told what love is

i highly doubt that. you’re breaking people’s hearts because you put your happiness FIRST. that’s not what love is.

you don’t have to be a total jerk to act that way. and i’m not saying you are. but you are seriously misunderstanding the consequences of your actions and how you are affecting the people around you. don’t make promises out of desperation. don’t lie to yourself to please someone. don’t put what you WANT out of a person before who that person really is.

if your little brother told you that within two weeks he was surfing for online relationships, proposing to a girl he was currently dating, and then kissing his ex, would you think he knows anything about relationships?

the answer is no. you are thinking too short term. you are thinking about what feels good NOW. you’re thinking more about what is wanted, expected, and fantasized about more than you are thinking about what you are doing and how you affect others.

you have yet to learn what it truly means to be absolutely selfless. you have yet to learn what it means to truly trust someone and lay down all your own desires for the sake of their happiness. true love asks for nothing.

you have yet to learn about true love. you’re still floundering about in insecurities, mistrust, uncertainty, seeking false comfort, taking the easy way out, fulfilling false expectations, building false hopes, wanting to change someone from whom they are, and wanting to be someone whom you’re not. you will not find true love that way. you will continue to hurt others and be hurt.

i know you’re 17, and learning about love is a long process, but you have to recognize that this is NOT the way. otherwise you’ll be 40 years old still making the same mistakes, still wanting, desiring, needing, and never finding something or someone who can make you truly happy with who you are, truly happy by just being themselves. never being able to please yourself, let alone bring someone else happiness.

think of somebody who looks up to you. would you advise them to follow in your footsteps?

do what you would want her to do. if she someday came to find herself in your situation, with the same complex love life, the same doubts and fears, feeling such strong emotions in her heart but not knowing what she truly wants or how to walk away knowing she made the right decision… reach down into everything you know about the world and people and think of what you would tell her to do. what would you hope for her to choose that would bring real happiness, joy, and freedom?

i know you would never tell her she could never be truly happy and truly in love. what would you tell her to be careful of? what would you warn her to understand or look out for?

when you learn about yourself and search for what truly makes you happy, you’ll find that it doesn’t involve cheating, lying, hiding, doubting, manipulating, hurting, or wanting what only ends up hurting you in the end. you’ll be honest with yourself, and in consequence, you will be true to others and there will be no need for broken hearts.