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You’re going to need to consult a doctor.

I applaud you for not wanting to be dependent upon any drug!

Likewise on both counts - see a doctor, and also the applauding!

As a possible suggestion though, would smaller doeses let you ween yourself off gently?

There is a cost-free, drug-free, scientifically-proved way to deal with anxiety and anxiety attacks. it’s called cognitive-behavioural therapy.

1. When you feel a panic attack coming, let it come. If you fight it, you make it worse. It will end in 8 minutes if you don’t aggravate it with worried thoughts.

2. Treat the panic like someone you don’t particularly like but you are determined to be polite to. Imagine the panic as a person. Invite the panic to come and sit down. Let the panic know you won’t be bullied anymore. Get angry if you have to. Dare the panic to overwhelm you and do its worst. Panic CANNOT kill you. It CANNOT trigger a heart attack. Panic is just sensations caused by a release of adrenaline into your system.

3. Breathe deeply. Count during your breaths in and out… make those breaths longer and longer. You will feel pressure in your chest– that’s you panicky muscles being tight. Force the breaths deeper. Start with counts of 3 secs per in/out and work your way up to 15-20secs each.

Every time you ride out the panic like this… surfing it like it’s a big wave under you… you get more and more confidence about managing your anxiety.

It works.

on an ongoing basis in your life, break every task that makes you anxious into at least 8 tiny tasks. Keep breaking tasks down into smaller pieces until the first one is something that doesn’t make you panicky… it might even seem so simple it is silly. THat’s great because then you can laugh about it. Work through each step and congratulate yourself for accomplishing it. When you get stuck, break that step down into smaller steps and try again.

You can do it.

Anxiety is completely generated inside your mind. It is not CAUSED by outside factors. The more you run away from your anxiety, the stronger it becomes. The more you face it like the bully it is, the more it will die down.

as linuxya, i think though, Whatever you fight, you strengthen, and what you resist, persists, acknowledge you can control change or accept anything you think or do and you will be open for new medication.

If you want to rid of your dependency on Xanax, then cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) is an excellent way to go. Seriously, if you go through CBT you’ll learn to control and reduce your anxiety.

You’ll get ‘relaxation’ training and the most novel part - exposure to possible things/events that trigger your panic. You’d then practice behaviours that would elicit feelings associated with panic. E.g. a person whose panick attacks begin with hyperventilation might be asked to breathe really fast for 3 minutes; or someone who gets dizzy might be requested to spin on a chair for several minutes.

So the point of all this is that when sensations such as dizziness, dry mouth, light-headedness, increased heart rate and other signs of panic begin to be felt, the client (i.e. you) experiences them under SAFE conditions and can apply previously learned cognitive & relaxation coping tactics (e.g. breathing from the diaphram rather than hyperventilating).

With practice and encouragement/persuasion from the therapist, you’ll learn to re-interpret internal sensations that feel like a loss of control and panic to cues that are basically harmless and can be controlled with certain skills.

It’s great you don’t want to depend on Xanax. I’ve never been a fan of taking any medication, even paracetamol.

I hope things get better for you.

- GG

I wrote a post on here a while back called In my shell, I cant talk to people or even look them in the eye but i can write what i feel as long as no one knows me. It shows me at my best state of mind. I spent 2 hours writing a really long response to everything but my computer froze and it got deleted, I feel crushed right now. thank you for all your of your advice. ps: another sleepless night, so 4-5 hours of sleep this week so far…

In this shell I mean

WOW Linuxya has some great advice. So true. Let me add a few things from my experience. Anxiety and depression can be created by drug addiction. If you had these issues prior to the prescriptiona addiction, they will definitely increase and become aggravated by the addiction. Addiction is a MENTAL disease. It doesn’t matter if you are strung out on heroin or if you become addicted to doctor prescribed meds. It affects the mind the same way. I used to suffer from addiction, depression and anxiety. Now, I suffer from none of those. A twelve step programm with a sponser will allow you to remove those things from your mind. Very affective. Very simple. The difficult problem is accepting that you have a problem. Which, it appears that you have come to terms with. Get into an AA meeting. Make yourself go for at least 7 days straight, and focus on some of the similarities that you may have with the people who speak and keep your mind off of the differences. Then get a sponser and get throught the steps (must be with a sponser). And I promise you, your life will change so much that each year you won’t recognize the person you were a year earlier.