What makes me the most bitter…
is deep depression or suicide in people. I have come to the point where I can no longer click on posts about suicide on this site because I really just can’t handle it. I can’t handle my own failure to help those people in such a dark place.
What is the most frusterating about it is how stunningly illogical the entire situation always is. There is never (I will make an exception only for those who have fatal illnesses who would rather die painlessly than through slow suffering, and even then it is only acceptable to do so if there is no way to cure it) a logical reason to take your life. There isn’t. But the problem with depression is that it messes with your mind and screws up your ability to think logically. I know, I’ve been there myself before.
I have been through an intense depression, and almost took my own life (I even posted on this website, before I had an account here). That was years ago. I am astounded at how completely illogical I was then, how distorted I saw reality. My depression went on for a year, and throughout that year I was absolutely and entirely useless. I will always regret how I wasted that year of my life, and I am actually embarassed by it. Everything now seems so clear, so rational. I was able to pull myself out of my depression with my own will power and created my own happiness: no doctors, no medications. But now I have realized how close to impossible it is to help someone out of theirs. I hate that. I hate being a failure to those who need my help.
The point I’m trying to make with all of this rambling is that: you absolutely, without a doubt, no matter the situation, can be happy. You have the power. And if you ever think that you don’t, feel free to ask me about my story. It is a long one, but if it could possibly help anyone out of such a terrible and irrational state of mind, I will absolutely tell it.
Remember though, you have the power to make your own independent happiness.
Since writing this post Lady Logical may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. Lady Logical is a verified member, has been around for 1 year, 11 months and has 19 posts and 355 replies to their name.
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