I am an alcoholic, and for the purpose of this exercise lets replace burning with alcohol. I would guess that you do it to bring a sense of release from tension and stress and emotional anxiety. You could win the lottery, find a wonderful partner, live in a mansion but you would still find yourself burning because your mind would still find something to worry about, it would still find a justification for doing it (e.g. what if my wonderful partner leaves me, what if the world economy crashes and I loose all my money) I know I would have still carried on drinking based on the emotional highs and the anxiety that would come from my new position/status because I saw the booze as something that helped me to cope, it was a part of who i was, it was my thing.
So it is not about how well your life is going, fixing that will not stop you doing this. The problem was with in me, here are the things that needed to be addressed.
The booze gave me a sense of purpose, with out it I lacked direction and became bored.
I liked myself for the first few drinks, only to wake up in the morning hating myself to the core of my existence, swearing never to drink again, only to find myself having a drink in the evening and liking myself briefly again until the next morning
I did not have to deal with my emotions. I could squash them down with the help of the booze
I would get some rest from the torture my mind would put me through, whilst I was drinking, so it seemed to be the only thing that was bringing relief in my life.
I was not even aware of this stuff while I was doing it, it was only when I stopped that I began to realize, the stuff I struggled with sober was the reason I drank.
Part of my recovery needed me to see my behavior as insane. I could not see it at first but I now see that to keep on drinking while it was affecting my health, wealth and relationships was insane. To keep doing the thing that was hurting my life so badly was insane. I now see it clear as day.
There are healthy ways to deal with emotions, by correctly identifying them, talking about them (to release the energy) to deal with my insanity I needed to verbalize what was going on in my head but that was not easy as I did not trust anyone enough to do that. Little by little at a safe place (AA meetings) I heard other people do it, i identified with them and I started to do a little bit of it myself. I can now tell some people anything and I do mean anything. I can speak to them with out having to filter my thoughts first and consider what i am saying because I trust them completely.
I have a sense of purpose from my new found freedom, although that has been tough at times
I can have peace of mind even in difficult situations because I have accepted my humanity, I have found my spirituality. I have learnt how to accept life on life’s terms. I can look at me and understand me in a way I never could before. I know what I am responsible for and what I am not responsible for and so can let go of all the worry about the things I have no control over that i would spend my life worrying about. (will my wife leave me, will my business be a success, will the world economy crash again) I can focus on doing the things I can do something about (eating breakfast, turning up for work, being considerate of others, dealing with my feelings constructively, asking for help when I am struggling) not that I do all this perfectly, oh no, but I can do it and I know it works so I have less anxiety about emotional pain as I have seen how it can motivate me to do things differently)
If you can stay stopped from this all your issues (what ever they may be) will come up. The thing is until I was in the fellowship of AA I did not have the first idea of how to deal with them. I needed the help and experience of others, I would never have thought of this stuff on my own. Also if you stopped this behavior you can pick up other behaviors. the times I stopped drinking I would either smoke weed, or try fixing on a girlfriend until i felt bored. It is not only being sober physically that counts it is being sober in the mind as well.
You could get help from a coda meeting, they say coda issues are at the core of all addictions. Go and see what you think :) any questions? it is hard to summarize and there is much much more to all of this.
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