wedding help: My father is dead and so I can’t be the best man at my buddy’s wedding.

PNG

My father is dead and so I can’t be the best man at my buddy’s wedding.

One of my best friends is getting married to a Cambodian/Buddhist girl. He wanted me to be the best man but she refused. According to the culture it is “bad luck” for a member of the wedding party to have a dead parent. I’m so insulted that I’m thinking of not going to the wedding. But here’s the issue; two of my other good friends are marrying Cambodian/Buddhist girls within the next year, and so I probably won’t be in their wedding parties either. Should I not go to my buddy’s wedding? And if so, should I not go to either of the other weddings as well? Am I being unreasonable?

This open post was written 3 years, 3 months ago | V/U/S: 552, 7, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post PNG may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. PNG is a verified member, has been around for 3 years, 3 months and has 1 posts and 1 replies to their name.

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weddings, bad luck, wedding parties, wedding, best man (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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southern_comfort 6 #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 years, 3 months ago (23 minutes after post)

Ping, are you a Christian? Was your father? If yes then your father is not really dead. As a fellow Christian we know the promise of eternal life that is given to us by the grace of God’s son, Jesus Christ.

Hey if the bride is going to throw her religion in your face why can’t two play the same game….

Go to all the weddings. And have a good time.

-SoCo

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akelley411 1 #
An Unknown Location | 3 years, 3 months ago (28 minutes after post)

I can understand you feeling the way you do. But this is their wedding and their day. Meaning they have every right to dicide who is in the wedding and who isn’t for what ever reason they feel. However, you have the right to choose not to go for what ever reason you choose. Just know that if you choose not to go you will only be hurting yourself and your friendship. Especially if you don’t go to this one but go to the others. What kind of message would you be sending to your friend. Also, think about the spot your friend is in. Most likely he wants you there but he wants to respect his brides wishes and traditions. Put yourself in his place, which would you do. Piss off your new bride or your buddy?

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PNG 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 years, 3 months ago (1 hour, 19 minutes after post)

SoCo:
LOL. I am Christian, my father was too, and that piece of advice is both clever and hilarious. Thanks.

I can just imagine the argument:

“Well according to MY religion he’s not dead.”
“Well according to MY religion he IS, and it’s MY wedding.”
“He has eternal life. Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ destroyed death.”
“Your father is dead! DEAD, DEAD, DEAD!” [everyone within earshot turns and stares in horror]
——————

AKelley:
Thank you for putting the matter into perspective. You made me realize that if I’m worthy of being my buddy’s best man then I should be putting his needs ahead of my own.

Both of your responses were intelligent and quick. Thanks again!

Jeff 4 #
Gamla Stan, 26, SE | 3 years, 3 months ago (5 hours, 11 minutes after post)

I love seeing this site work :D Thanks all.

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holly eden 2 #
Victoria, BC, CA | 3 years, 3 months ago (15 hours, 57 minutes after post)

Hi there, friend! I can understand your hurt at not being able to ‘be’ best man at your best friend’s wedding. However, my ‘take’ is that it takes more than a dress-suit and tie’ and a place in a receiving line to make you ‘ best man’.

“Love does not alter when it alteration finds.” I think Shakespeare spun that line. The Bible tells us “love (true friendship) is patient, kind and is not jealous; love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1Corinthians13).

I am certain your friend is as disappointed as you are, and your other friends as well, should you know not show up for them. I also imagine they will be feeling culturally isolated and even in some cases ‘prejudiced against’ by the new culture and customs they are marrying into. If there was ever a time they ‘needed you’ it is to ‘be with them’ simply by standing with them as the faithful friend you are to them.

I know you will have an amazingly awesome time at these weddings–as well as blessing your friends as you cheer them on!

jenniferbanfor #
San Luis Obispo, CA, US | 2 years, 3 months ago (1 year after post)

it shouldnt be up to the girl whatever religion she is he is your friend he should decide.

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upcountry7 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (2 years, 2 months after post)

so don’t be in the wedding party, big deal. Go to the ******* wedding and support your friends. It doesn’t always have to be about you.

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wedding help: My father is dead and so I can’t be the best man at my buddy’s wedding. - Help.com

My father is dead and so I can’t be the best man at my buddy’s wedding.

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