Out There help: The difference between male and female advice makes me chuckle. - Help.com

The difference between male and female advice makes me chuckle.

So uh, regarding my problem, I’ve asked people of both genders.

Not surprisingly the answers were quite very different.

The guys advised me to turn my back, stop talking her, treat her like crap, and generally treat her like I would any girl. I got rejected, they said, so try another gal. Many in the world after all. And by all means, do not treat her like a princess and suck up to her.

I understood the logic behind that last bit, but the first part begs for explanation for how girls can take that in the face and still find guys.

So I went to a couple girls who were good friends of mines. The advice was quite different. They advised me to ask her where I currently stand with her, so I could stop questioning myself and doubting myself. A mutual friend between us assured me that it would obviously be awkward, but it would be over. I would know how she felt about me, and if there is a chance, I would have grabbed it.

The guys blew up at that suggestion. They told me that I could go do that and make a fool of myself, and screw myself utterly. So many girls out there, and you waste your time on one? They told me that the more you give a “don’t care about anything” attitude, the more girls will flock to you.

Alright, so both sides have pretty valid points, so I’m back to step one.

I want to stop doubting myself, because like it or not, it’s interfering with my school work.
Yet, to stop doubting myself, I have to make a fool out of myself.
But then, I’m a senior who is about to graduate, so should it matter?

I don’t know. What do?

This open post was written 1 year, 3 months ago | V/U/S: 395, 5, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post Shigaku may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. Shigaku is a verified member, has been around for 3 years, 1 month and has 150 posts and 747 replies to their name.

Post Tags (10)

Explanation, questioning, suggestion, difference, Out There, Take That, Graduate, Princess, Rejected, attitude (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (5)

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altex offline Verified User (3 years, 11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 3 months ago (5 minutes after post)

As a fellow senior about to graduate, I say risk it. If you’re going through all of this trouble trying to decide what to do, then she must me important to you. Even if you do just make a fool of yourself, YOU’RE LEAVING. If this isn’t the time to take a chance, then when is?

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Help me with: What do you do when you are afraid?
Ricin offline Verified User (2 years, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 3 months ago (11 minutes after post)

i can see the arguement from both sides aswell, in my opinion it helps if you stop asking people. Usually what other people say is not the best for you. or atleast in my opinion, but if you must try and ask for direction you’ve done the right thing getting alot of opinions but i think a mix of the two would be great ask her where you both stand but at the same time relax, and try not to worry or pay too much attention, i myself am currently in a relationship where my girlfriend dominates my life and i feel like i can do nothing, but i blame this on the fact that i’ve let her dominate my life, if you wanna be happy you just gotta follow what you want, ask yourself the main questions (do you like her? do you want to be with her, what will you lose? what will you gain?) go do what your heart and mind is telling you, don’t listen to people :) because at the end of the day the only one living with your choice is you…. and if it matters i’m a guy :P

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Shigaku offline Verified User (3 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 3 months ago (13 minutes after post)

Just saying if I did opt to tell her, I do need to find an appropriate time to tell her.

Ugh…things between us 2 are already awkward enough. Which is why I’m teetering both ways. Avoiding = no more awkwardness, no more problems, no more her. Tell her = also no more problems, and no awkwardness as we both are clear about where we stand. Stay as I am right now, a lot of problems, a lot of time wasted, yet safe.

Mixed up. =\ Thanks for the help, I appreciate your point of view.

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Help me with: As a first year college student, I’m about to ask out my first college gal.
Ricin offline Verified User (2 years, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 3 months ago (17 minutes after post)

:) well like i said in my post, how much does she mean to you? i mean i can guess but you gotta realise how much she does, i mean your getting worked up about it yeah? so i think you care about this girl and altex is right, you don’t have much time left and you’ll regret not knowing in my opinion :) go for what you want!

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Shigaku offline Verified User (3 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 3 months ago (17 minutes after post)

@Ricin

I’ll try and think about that right now….and true that. Nobody is going to suffer/benefit from my decision anyhow.
Fellow guys unite…!

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Help me with: As a first year college student, I’m about to ask out my first college gal.

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