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Break up Advice

I just wanted some advice regarding how to deal with hurting someone else, how to deal with a break up and self hatred.

I’m 16 and so was my now ex-boyfriend. Basically I’ve had a two year romance with a long distanced ‘friend’ and we were dating and then a 6 months ago he suddenly stopped talking to me and I felt like I was unwanted and done something wrong. But a few months past and I liked another guy who goes to my school and we dated for 2 months but the other day my long distance ex began talking to me again. He was telling me he loved me and that he missed me but I told him I’d though he didnt want me and that I had a new boyfriend however I felt guilty as that hurt his feelings and carried on talking to him. Later he persuaded me to take off my top for him on webcam, but after I told him I felt awful. I felt terrible and burned myself . The next day I told my boyfriend what happened and then the detail by text so I didnt tell him ‘everything that happened’ just that I striped and the next day he didn’t talk to me then sent me a text saying we should break up. I mean he had every right to want to dump me and I’m not angry at him, but I’m questioning my self worth.

I feel terrible that I did that to him, and I honestly did feel like I loved him -more than I have ever did anyone else . its been a few days but I can’t stop crying and getting frustrated at myself. I mean I didn’t understand why I let myself do that, it was out of character and I really hate myself, more than I have ever done, I just want to make myself suffer when I look in the mirror. I haven’t eaten much the past few days and have been sleeping a lot but constantly waking up and crying and having terrible headaches and pain in my stomach. I’m trying to change and I’ve deleted my facebook etc because I think if I can’t use it responsibly , I shouldn’t have it at all and I don’t want to talk to my long distance ex again, not until I can get some self-respect for myself. All I want is for him to take me back but I know he never will, but he said we’d remain friends yet I haven’t spoken to him at all.

I know I’m young and this isn’t the end of the world but I would be grateful for some advice regarding how to handle the situation or to made the whole ordeal less painful for myself since I’ve never felt this way about someone , or hated myself as much. I feel like the breakup hasn’t been resolved since it wasn’t done in person and that not all the questions have been answered and I can’t stop thinking about him.

This open post was written 1 year, 2 months ago | V/U/S: 303, 2, 1 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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what happened, long distance, SOMEONE ELSE, questioning, Situation, Character, questions, boyfriend, Resolved, feelings (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (2)

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ⓘⓝⓚ offline Verified User (2 years) Long Term User Shouts: 7 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (4 minutes after post)

i think what you need is to do the following:

cut off communication with the ex. he’s trouble and you need time away from him to get over your past with him. keeping in contact like this is like an alcoholic trying to sober up in a bar. not good.

apologize one last time to the new guy, and give him closure.

stay away from boys for a while. you’re a bit confused, having some trouble dealing with yourself. so, take a while to be single. get to now yourself.

you cannot have a good relationship with anyone, until you can have a good relationship with yourself. give yourself that first, and stay away form the dating scene for a few months at least. have some you-time. we all make mistakes, you just have to accept that and be at peace with it, then you can move on.

it will work out in the end.

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linuxya offline Verified User (6 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (50 minutes after post)

Um… your problem is very low self esteem. You seem unable to stand up for yourself or respect yourself or demand respect from other people.

You have to realize that if you demand respect, good people will respect you and weak people will avoid you or criticize you. Well, who cares about the weak people?

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