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Break up Advice
I just wanted some advice regarding how to deal with hurting someone else, how to deal with a break up and self hatred.
I’m 16 and so was my now ex-boyfriend. Basically I’ve had a two year romance with a long distanced ‘friend’ and we were dating and then a 6 months ago he suddenly stopped talking to me and I felt like I was unwanted and done something wrong. But a few months past and I liked another guy who goes to my school and we dated for 2 months but the other day my long distance ex began talking to me again. He was telling me he loved me and that he missed me but I told him I’d though he didnt want me and that I had a new boyfriend however I felt guilty as that hurt his feelings and carried on talking to him. Later he persuaded me to take off my top for him on webcam, but after I told him I felt awful. I felt terrible and burned myself . The next day I told my boyfriend what happened and then the detail by text so I didnt tell him ‘everything that happened’ just that I striped and the next day he didn’t talk to me then sent me a text saying we should break up. I mean he had every right to want to dump me and I’m not angry at him, but I’m questioning my self worth.
I feel terrible that I did that to him, and I honestly did feel like I loved him -more than I have ever did anyone else . its been a few days but I can’t stop crying and getting frustrated at myself. I mean I didn’t understand why I let myself do that, it was out of character and I really hate myself, more than I have ever done, I just want to make myself suffer when I look in the mirror. I haven’t eaten much the past few days and have been sleeping a lot but constantly waking up and crying and having terrible headaches and pain in my stomach. I’m trying to change and I’ve deleted my facebook etc because I think if I can’t use it responsibly , I shouldn’t have it at all and I don’t want to talk to my long distance ex again, not until I can get some self-respect for myself. All I want is for him to take me back but I know he never will, but he said we’d remain friends yet I haven’t spoken to him at all.
I know I’m young and this isn’t the end of the world but I would be grateful for some advice regarding how to handle the situation or to made the whole ordeal less painful for myself since I’ve never felt this way about someone , or hated myself as much. I feel like the breakup hasn’t been resolved since it wasn’t done in person and that not all the questions have been answered and I can’t stop thinking about him.
Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.
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