God loves you; this was the first thing I saw as we entered the parking lot of planned parenthood. I remember thinking “protesters, really?Come on” but they didn’t say anything. We went inside and I told them my appointment: I had to pay $40 that was it, to get rid of my baby. We sat down and waited but I felt a peace about being there. I remember that morning praying to God to ease my nerves. Texting my best friend I told her about the protesters and “..apparently God loves me.” She said we already knew that and that put me at peace even more.
They called me to the back, took my weight and temperature and made me sign the paperwork. I was noticeable nervous and the MA commented on it, she tried to ease my nerves but it wasn’t going to help. Then I was told to sit in a small waiting room with other girls. I was nervous, my legs were shaking. They called me again and I went to the recovery room to take medication. I was given an antibiotic, two ibuprofen, a nausea pill and two valumes. I had to fill out more paper work about my medical history but as I was filling it out I was distracted by a girl in one of the recovery chairs. She looks sleepy but more than that she looked sad. After this I was sent back to the room to wait. They called me again and as I stood up I felt woozy, I assume it was from the medication. They asked if I wanted to donate blood for stem cell research and I declined. I faint at the sight of my own blood and feeling woozy from the medicine would have made it a disaster. So I was sent back to wait with the other girls.
We were all talking as we waited. Some girls were saying they had a child or multiple, baby daddy issues, health issues but we were all there for the same reason. I started to feel guilty, I had no kids, I had a boyfriend who was for the abortion but supportive, I was healthy, I had a family that once the shock wore off would be supportive; what was I doing there?As I was sitting there I was wondering if it was too late to leave, to forget the whole thing and save my baby. But I had to think about my boyfriend, he would not be supportive in keeping it, it would affect his kids and ruin anything between us. Then my name was called again and I was lead to a room in the back.
The room had an ultrasound machine and the machine used for the procedure. I was told to undress from the waist down and wait. The MA came back in quickly and started setting up for the procedure. She hooked this container up to the suction tube and all I could think was that would be full of my baby in less than ten minutes. I was scared when the doctor came in and started the procedure. First she gave me a shot to sedate me but all it did was make me feel light headed. She numbed my cervix with two shots, which hurt. Then she started to dilate me which hurt even more then the shots. The MA in the room used the ultrasound on my stomach while the doctor did the procedure. The pain during the procedure surprised me, it was the worst cramps I’ve had times ten. It only took a few minutes then it was done and the doctor left the room. The MA stayed in the room as I got dressed and then lead me to the recovery room. Once in the room my cramps were at a ten on the pain scale and I felt nauseous. After a few minutes I had to get up and use the restroom to check my bleeding then speak to someone before leaving. I felt so sick that I almost vomited and had to sit in the recovery chair a few more minutes. When I finally felt ok enough to leave I walked out to the truck where my boyfriend was waiting and we left.
I laid down when we got home and I didn’t think I would sleep because my cramps were so painful but within five minutes I was out. My boyfriend went into the living room to let me sleep but I only slept for a bit before waking up. I text my best friend a bit and thought about what I had just done; all I could do was cry myself back to sleep. I regret my decision and feel like I always will but what is done is done.
Since writing this post duckielovesnat may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. duckielovesnat is a verified member, has been around for 1 year, 3 months and has 5 posts and 25 replies to their name.
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