Chunkymoves edited this post 1 year, 2 months ago. Read the previous text »
Forgiveness - is it really possible or wise before you are safe?
http://help.com/post/537938-time-to-s...
Chunkymoves edited this post 1 year, 2 months ago. Read the previous text »
Surrender the hurt so you can live your life?
But how to surrender that hurt without betraying the part of you that hurts?
Forgiveness - is it really a wise thing to do before you are free?
http://help.com/post/537938-time-to-s...
That hurt I won’t let go of is the shred of self worth I had to bury so deep to survive. That bit of me that screamed in terror but couldn’t move away. That bit that knew it was wrong. That hurt wants to live, not to surrender.
Imagine a gay person living in a world were gay wasn’t condoned at all. Gay was wrong, or they were the only gay person in the world. Telling them to let go of their gayness as it were - to surrender, to give up who they are.
Or if you stub your toe, it hurts - but you don’t cut it off.
But what if it gets infected?
At what point do you give up on an infected limb and cut it off? then you try to cut it off, and fail, and realise it’s not just hurting even more.
Letting it go is what happens after the healing is done, and it’s all that seems to be remembered by those on the other side.
“This presentation is NOT about blaming our parents - it’s about the acknowledgment of what happened so we can heal the original pain, stop the cycle, and live a happier life”
“The Iceberg model is used to explain things that happen to people who have not been able, for one reason or another, to get their depedendency Needs met fully and the impact this may have on their lives and their pursuit of happiness.”
“Children have not yet developed the skills to cope effectively with emotional pain. It seems they can handle a broken arm better than a broken heart. They rely heavily on a defense mechanism called repression to push the emotional wound deep into their unawareness - or subconscious mind “
http://www.internet-of-the-mind.com/a…
You say ‘Letting go is what happens after the healing is done’ - I kind of agree but I also say that letting go is a massive part of the healing (if not, most). Oh man, could i tell you a story! (not here but)
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Cell wrote:
The hurt isn’t actually the part that’s really you. You are underneath the hurt and if you give that part up then you will be free.
Why would you think that?
~FlutterBy~ wrote:
You say ‘Letting go is what happens after the healing is done’ - I kind of agree but I also say that letting go is a massive part of the healing (if not, most). Oh man, could i tell you a story! (not here but)
I up to hearing the story if you ever wish to tell it.
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… special individual who is hurt and angry
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Yes, it is something I am going through.
Imagine someone hanging on the side of a cliff, of that little branch that always seems to be there. There arms are sore, but they hang on. You might say to them to let go, but they say to you “**** off or help”. I know you are trying to help, but you really don’t seem to get the reality of the situation. God won’t catch me. God won’t bring justice. God won’t fix anything, as god has already been owned by the abusers and the lucky.
You say for it not to define you, but it is part of who I am for now, just as someone with cancer has to face the facts.
I am angry, deal with it.
And how?
Thankyou cell, been a long day/lifetime
Chunkydore wrote:
~FlutterBy~ wrote:
You say ‘Letting go is what happens after the healing is done’ - I kind of agree but I also say that letting go is a massive part of the healing (if not, most). Oh man, could i tell you a story! (not here but)
I up to hearing the story if you ever wish to tell it.
Well, you got it all now…my story, that is.
Finally after over a year of being here!
Chunkydore wrote:
Yes, it is something I am going through.
Imagine someone hanging on the side of a cliff, of that little branch that always seems to be there. There arms are sore, but they hang on. You might say to them to let go, but they say to you “**** off or help”. I know you are trying to help, but you really don’t seem to get the reality of the situation. God won’t catch me. God won’t bring justice. God won’t fix anything, as god has already been owned by the abusers and the lucky.
You say for it not to define you, but it is part of who I am for now, just as someone with cancer has to face the facts.
I am angry, deal with it.
And how?
This anger which is associated massively with the event, is what is to be let go of. This anger is not originally the essence of who you were when you were born. This came with the event and this event has been and gone. Done. This anger is what you were left feeling as a part of this traumatic event, yes?
This anger is a part of who you are for now, you say, because you hang on to it.
It has kept you safe….when in fact it can be the one thing that can manifest disease and illness, such as the cancer, you talk of. This is the one thing, that when you let go of it, can FREE you to live - really live you life and BE! Why allow the power of that event/person, to chain you anymore? You are the only one who can release those chains, so as to speak.
Does this make sense Chunky>? I hope so. Love, X
It is in the past, but the consequences I still live with, they have shaped my entire life.
The thing I’m holding on to is repressing that anger, like holding onto the neck of a balloon. If I let go it will fly out of control and break the mold of this life that I need to live. I don’t know how to be anything else, and there is nothing on the other side. I was born angry, but the anger wasn’t mine, it was my mothers. She was angry at her husband, and she betrayed that anger and let him back into her life. My identity was based around a purpose, motivated by survival.
One day I’ll meet a bright enough psychologist :-)
Good to get some words to it. And good to hear about a flourishing child, that really got me. I don’t believe in higher powers, so it just comes down to shared values, and that child is valuable, and your actions can be measured against that
I didn’t have another person get mad for me, would have been handy. Know one ever validated it, not even the people who loved me. Me being angry is the only thing that said I mattered
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Your anger is important and you have a right to it. Yes it is a burden, but you cannot let go of it until you are ready, until it has been expressed enough, until you have felt heard. And maybe you will never let go of it fully. Maybe when you have shouted your anger from the rooftops, as you have a right to, you will pack it away in some quite place in your mind, knowing always that it was and is an important part of your life experience.
Maybe it is about thinking about how you can be angry and still live bits of your life the way you want them to be - about living in spite of the anger and the things that have happened to you.
Cell wrote:
So be mad then. If you think it’s helping you what’s the problem?
Hmm, good question. I don’t know how to be mad. Strange I know, but never been safe.
Also pointless. Could never do much about it.
Thanks cell
Anonymous
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1 year, 1 month ago (3 weeks, 3 days after post)
If wishing you free of your demons would set you free so you were content happy and free of your past shackles you would have been freed a million times and again.
Words are just so just words. They are harmless yet so powerful
So many questions you ask of you,the world of those part of you. But so many id say to move past them and just life
Maybe you are living and are doing better than before poster from this site. But with all that is good i wish you the very best with being so close within reach to being happy
HUGSx
Anonymous
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1 year, 1 month ago (3 weeks, 5 days after post)
Refusing to reach out to others have kept me in isolation afraid no one will understand how hard it is to accept the rejection.
bmhill4 wrote:
Refusing to reach out to others have kept me in isolation afraid no one will understand how hard it is to accept the rejection.
Kept you sage too :-)
Rejection sucks its true
That would be “kept you safe…”
Hey Chunkydore, what is a “Chunkydore” anyhoo?
This account has been deactivated.
~FlutterBy~
katie11.11
bmhill4
HappilyTanned
envyyd1