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This year i entered year 11, and things have been really different with my friends.
Its hard to explain, but in the holidays i didnt feel bothered to do stuff with them, and my excuse was always because i had sport. This year though we have all drifted, but everyone but me in the group still has someone they are close to, and eveytime im at school i just feel isolated, alone and i get this weird feeling like im chocking in my chest. I have cried uncontrolably twice for no particular reason, but i think it was because of this. Both when when i had my period. The last time i cried, i was in hysterics all day and had to be sent home because i was so sad and i did not know why.
I have and had been feeling like this all years, and last week i went aways for 5 days with my swim squad and it was the best 5 days of my life! i had so much fun with all different friends and people, and made friends. But when i got back the feeling came back harder and stronger. After my last outburst i talked to my parents about it and it was good to let it out, the comforted me and i told them everything. I have been experiencing these feelings since my outburst, but i keep telling myself its going to be okay, and its alright. This helps, but sometimes i just breakdown to myself. Im also becoming very nostalgic about my trip away with my squad, and really want to be back there with the people i was with. When i think about my trip i get that chocking feeling in my chest as well. I also keep thinking about the past and im not sure why i feel so alone, isolated, empty and nostalgic. Im very happy when im with the people i play sport with, but when im at school i just feel terrible. I think i feel like this because my friends and i have drifted, but then at the same time i am confused and unsure. So if someone could help me it would be greatly appreciated. Thankyou :)
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