friends help: This year i entered year 11, and things have been really different with my friends. - Help.com

Your story is similar to mine. It sounds like you may be depressed. I never knew it until I was better, but it caused me to be distant from everyone I knew. I never became better friends with the ones I pushed away, but I found new ones afterwards. Try to find some activity to do together and just don’t care about the groups people have formed, or even better, find an activity where they must be broken. I hope everything goes good for you. It may also help to talk to a professional about what is going on if this is possible.

It’s very sad when you drift apart from people you’ve been friends with, however it’s great that you have friends in your swim squad! The best way I can explain this is that you’re growing up now, your interests with those around you change and suddenly you all realize that you don’t all have so much in common anymore. This is natural. Think of it this way…you were put into a school with all these strangers, you’re also expected to get on with pretty much everyone when you’re in school (teachers don’t like it when you don’t!), you learn to socialize, you play games when you’re younger etc etc…..but suddenly you that bit older, you all start to like different music, sports, hobbies and you’re also thinking about what you’re going to do with your life….friendships start to drift…and when you’re with people who have the same focus in life as yourself, ie you with your swim squad you feel great, you all have something in common, at the same time you feel nostalgic for those friends that you’re no longer close to and this is incredibly sad, its almost like grief because you can’t get those days back again. I have very few friends left from school, I have quite a few aquaintences that I see occasionally from school, we say hi, check out how we’re all doing and then go our seperate ways….these are people I used to be very close to. I had a best friend who I stayed close to until I was about 27….but again one day we realized we had grown apart. I was devastated and it took me a while to realize that actually while she played an incredibly important role in my life we no longer ‘fitted’ with each other, our lives were so different. My friends now are people who have the same interests, ideas etc and I’m very lucky to have them, they are the friends who I will have for life because we weren’t forced together, we met out in the world doing things we all love! Look back on these friendships that you’ve drifted from with fondness and appreciate what they brought to your life at the time and get excited about all those friends who are waiting to meet you as you go on through your life. Most of the people I know have maybe one or two friends they still consider close from school and the rest are friends they have met through college, university, work, hobbies etc It will be the same for you, don’t feel too sad at what you have lost, it’s just a natural progression of growing up. Be excited about your future, meet new people and have fun. Arrange to meet up with some of your swimming friends outside of school, enjoy being with those who give you pleasure x :)