friends help: I’m stuck in a horrible marriage and I don’t know - Help.com

I suggest counseling immediately, if not sooner.

not only individual counseling, but maybe even marriage counseling. And if you guys do end up divorcing, maybe you would want to try family therapy with your kids so they can understand your reasoning.

you and your wife need to step back and appreciate what you have. Its tough when one partner is more stubborn that the other to realise certain things within a relationship. This will take time and alot of alone time with your wife to get back to that moment that attacted her to you and vise versa.

Women typically become highly abusive when they perceive their man to be weak. They seem to do this in the silly notion that it will force you to “man up”. The more weak you are and the more weakly you respond to their abuse, the more abusive they will become.

There is absolutely NOTHING preventing you from doing anything you want. Seriously. Nothing. Other than you fears and you can face them and overcome them.

There is absolutely NO WAY they she can control you if you don’t let her do it.

And what kind of example are you giving your kids? You’re teaching them either to BE bullies or allow themselves to BE Bullied. Wow. How is that going to affect the rest of their lives?

It’s time to face your fears my friend. You will feel a lot better. You’re going to have to demonstrate your independence and your power over yourself.

Or teach your kids how to run away when problems in relationships arise. Yeah; that’ll work.

Well for one thing you’re letting your kids down by staying in the relationship. Children learn about relationships from their parents and seeing you let yourself be treated like that makes you a terrible role model.
If you stand up for yourself and strive to be happy then they will learn to do the same.

Start standing up for your self

I think its far better for you to be a role model for your kids. Right now you are reflecting a very weak character that will affect their psyche for the rest of their lives. Whats the point in staying in an abusive relationship where one refuses to get help and is content to maintain misery within the family?

You can change this. As linuxya said, there is nothing stopping you from doing anything you want. Stand up for yourself and show strength of character. Start by talking to your wife and telling her exactly how you feel and that if she doesn’t change you will have to separate. I hope she will agree to at least try. If not, stick to your word and make other arrangements bearing the kids interests in mind too.