friends help: Friends and racism.. - Help.com

Let them figure it out on their own.
Maybe they need to be a little less racist themselves.

That’s how I feel. They keep racism around by always talking about it.

I don’t think you should do anything. If it bothers you, just go do something else when they have those conversations. It would be insensitive of you to say “you weren’t there, get over it” or something like that, that is such an important part of their family histories.

With an individual friend it might be appropriate to point out that you feel excluded and don’t know what to say when these conversations come up, but if you try to say anything in a group, it will sound different from how you mean it to sound.

We all look for reasons to explain why we don’t have the lives we want or the confidence we want.

That doesn’t mean the people and circumstances we blame don’t have a role.

But the question is how much value there is in looking only outside ourselves for reasons for our failures to be who and what we want to be.

If we chose to do so, we could find pathways to success that others have taken despite the challenges thrown in their faces. True strength is in adapting and persevering.

The norm is that white people are racist while anyone else are victims. It´s hard to reach through this. I have studied the phenomenon closer as i have been labeled a racist myself. After getting to know the whole deal better i find that i´m really not that racist after all.
I don´t really care for the label, but i´m not overly bothered by it either. Statements are often misunderstood. I treat people in response to their actions. Nothing else really. I could not care less what they look like or where they come from. I get judged just as much on my looks so i know how it feels too. There is no need to be an a$$hole even though some people treat you less than they could.

what their ancestors went through effects them and their culture even today. Plus there is still racism, although it is better hidden than it used to be. They are survivors of a horrible trauma.

I’m not sure you can say anything. It seems to me to be a type of compliment to you that they are comfortable enough to talk about this in front of you. So you could tell them you aren’t sure what to say? You could ask what can I say that would help? or you could just listen while they talk. They might not have been slaves but someone in their background might have been. Or someone was denied a job or a house because they weren’t white. So they were & are affected by this.

Ask them how they feel as African-Americans living where you do.
Ask them what difference they think colour makes in their lives day-to-day.
Ask them what they think about racism.
That way you will know how they feel, and how you feel about the subject.
If they are young adults it’s probably natural for them to be exploring heritage and civil rights at their age. If they are older people who seem obsessed with the topic, and you aren’t. Then maybe find other friends.

I’ve listened to it for a long time. Heard it all. I mean it’s to the point where they are posting racism stories on the fb pages and whatnot. The thing they don’t see is that they aren’t the only ones who have gone through it. Nowadays if you are hispanic you are being discriminated. You don’t hear hispanics crying about it all the time like they do. It is really annoying. What do you get out of dwelling on it overall? Nothing! it’s always going to exist not only to black but all races.

Anonymous wrote:
I’ve listened to it for a long time. Heard it all. I mean it’s to the point where they are posting racism stories on the fb pages and whatnot. The thing they don’t see is that they aren’t the only ones who have gone through it. Nowadays if you are hispanic you are being discriminated. You don’t hear hispanics crying about it all the time like they do. It is really annoying. What do you get out of dwelling on it overall? Nothing! it’s always going to exist not only to black but all races.

Racism is STILL and issue in the world. IT’s not something that’s finished, Racism of course will lead to discussions about heritage, slavery, entitlement etc. Sounds like you need to get over it.

@Thecentraladdres.. you make no sense. I just said I know there is still racism. DUH! All I’m saying is that there is no reason to bring it up all the time.

thats a tough call in my book, if you look back there have been so many races that have had their major issues. sad part is, the white american has never been one of those. i too have black friends, but lucky for me they dont talk about that kind of stuff. maybe change the subject to sports or something you all have in common?

Anonymous wrote:
@Thecentraladdres.. you make no sense. I just said I know there is still racism. DUH! All I’m saying is that there is no reason to bring it up all the time.

Well if you’re an active part in a movement that’s trying to eradicate it, which a lot of black people ascribe to, then you’re gonna hear bout it.

g.men200 wrote:
sad part is, the white american has never been one of those.

you’re sad because White Americans never had it bad :/

thecentraladdres wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
@Thecentraladdres.. you make no sense. I just said I know there is still racism. DUH! All I’m saying is that there is no reason to bring it up all the time.

Well if you’re an active part in a movement that’s trying to eradicate it, which a lot of black people ascribe to, then you’re gonna hear bout it.

g.men200 wrote:
sad part is, the white american has never been one of those.

you’re sad because White Americans never had it bad :/

ok einstein, name when white america had it so bad? when were they slaves? when did they get their lands stolen from them? when? tell me mr. know it all

thecentraladdres wrote:

g.men200 wrote:

g.men200 wrote:
sad part is, the white american has never been one of those.

you’re sad because White Americans never had it bad :/

ok einstein, name when white america had it so bad? when were they slaves? when did they get their lands stolen from them? when? tell me mr. know it all

..err.. I was asking you why you were sad about it?

i am not sad, how could you even come to that conclusion from my statement?

g.men200 wrote:
i am not sad, how could you even come to that conclusion from my statement?

.err. well, it was this bit;

g.men200 wrote:
if you look back there have been so many races that have had their major issues. sad part is, the white american has never been one of those.

I think you don’t have to say anything… just make sure that they know you are against it… It might be difficult for them to come over it, I know it’s all gone, but we are talking about what their grandfathers have suffered from, it’s not easy for them I think

thecentraladdres wrote:

g.men200 wrote:
i am not sad, how could you even come to that conclusion from my statement?

.err. well, it was this bit;

g.men200 wrote:
if you look back there have been so many races that have had their major issues. sad part is, the white american has never been one of those.

i am so sorry i did not clarify that for you, when i said sad. i meant that white america doesn’t really have anything in common with other races when it comes to tragedies against them.

g.men200 wrote:
i am so sorry i did not clarify that for you, when i said sad. i meant that white america doesn’t really have anything in common with other races when it comes to tragedies against them.

No worries, I see,they can’t relate to each other. Good point.

There’s still a lot of prejudice against blacks–look at the shooting of the young black kid, Trayvon Martin, in Florida by the captain of his gated community’s “neighborhood watch.”

There’s still prejudice against women in some roles, and there’s prejudice against older people and younger people, as well.

Now the group that’s most discriminated against in employment is older white males.

Sooner or later, we’ll all fall into a group that experiences prejudice. We can all commiserate with each other, but we shouldn’t let it hold us back. It’s easy to get angry and stay angry at a group of people who have acted with bias against you. But we have to find it within ourselves to be able to forgive past injustices and to move forward. When you come right down to it, every group has discriminated against some other group, and has been discriminated against by other groups as well.

Personally I think they’re creating a lot of segregation and racsim for themselves by constantly pointing out how different they are and how they were treated in the past. The past is in the past. History shouldn’t be forgotten, but it should be learned from, not used as a weapon.

I even find the fact that they call them “African Americans” like they’re not really American to be astounding. People are people ffs.

America needs to get a grip. It’s society is sinking faster and faster.

1) racism is still a problem in the US

2) you do not solve a problem by ignoring it, you solve a problem by learning about the roots of the problem, discussing the problem and taking an active stance against it.

Tell them this - “stop whining!”.
It’s not mean, it’s not racist, it’s not insensitive. True friends should tell their friends their most honest opinion without sugarcoating it or extensive use of euphemisms.
If they don’t like the fact that they (or more like their ancestors) were taken from tribe culture and after a brief period of mistreating they were granted access to endless possibilities. Don’t like that? Well than they can always go back to Africa. What’s the point in complaining about this issue, complaints won’t solve anything. Like jobs, nice houes and possibilities if you’re willing to pursue them? Well then suck it up and quit whining about the past. Jews were mistreated far worse, don’t hear them whining about antisemitism.