why are you scared of sex? have you ever done it? is it the fear of the first time?
how do you know you’re a sexophobe?
Welcome back, btw…. Missed seeing you.
You probably will not be able to “cure” yourself without some kind of help from a therapist. It is a phobia but it is a real phobia and one that needs to dealt with in reality terms. Talk to your doctor. And it will remain confidential that way too. No need to tell bf anything at this point.
Nope, never done it!
Well I don’t technically know, just giving it a name like that makes me feel like less of a freak :D
It could be the fear of the first time I think, because I always have thought that I’ll do it once and maybe be just fine with it. That being said, I kissed my boyfriend but we broke up 3 years ago and I haven’t kissed anyone since, I’m still too nervous about it so maybe it would be the same with sex.
I was also in a situation when I was about 12 where… well it’s hard to explain, but I think in the situation I felt quite out of control of it, so now I avoid anything sexual because I’m afraid of being out of control again. I really do not want to have sex so I avoid anything slightly intimate in case they try to have sex with me… does that make sense?
Thank you southern comfort :) Sorry I haven’t been on. Although that could be a good thing because I’ve been doing pretty well? Hope you’re ok :) And thank you for remembering me!
I did think that. But I doubt it’s something I’d be able to open up about to anyone else. So I was really hoping it would be something I’d be able to ‘get over’ by myself!
And he’s not actually my boyfriend :) And I wouldn’t do ANYTHING unless he was, so this is still kind of wishful thinking! I just want to be prepared when the time comes haha! But we have been spending more time together lately so that time is looming ever nearer…yikes!
i think you should just take it REALLY slowly with this guy, until you feel really comfortable with him, and start slowly. baby steps
No, I haven’t been abused. It would be such a good logical explanation though, NOT that I want to have been abused but at least then I’d know why I feel this way!
I will DEFINITELY be taking it slowly :) That’s the thing, even though I do feel a lot of pressure to be doing what everyone else is, and like I’m frigid if I don’t put out in the first week or whatever, my phobia overrides allll of that. Yay prudism :)
What is it in particular that scares you? You will not grow 7 heads and 14 lips and 27 eyes, ok? Is it the nudity involved? The fact that he’s a male? The act itself? Give us something to go on.
First time heebie-jeebies is normal. But an actual phobia against it is something else.
You have been taught early on that your body is sacred, correct? Catholic or Protestant background I’m guessing.
Hm… I don’t really know!
Yeah being naked doesn’t thrill me. I also think it would just be megaaaa awkward. Like the act itself (not even counting the fact that I wouldn’t know what to do and I’d just get the giggles). And being that intimate with someone. And… I dunno, I just honestly think I’d get the giggles. And I can’t imagine ever showing that much emotion to someone.
I’m also not a fan of penises. (I am straight though… or maybe just asexual!).
The only reason I use the word phobia is because looking at things related make me genuinely gag. Like condoms. And in a lecture we were shown a picture of semen (not entirely sure why…) and I gagged. I still have to cover my eyes when I see people kiss on tv! And I watched a film where someone had sex and nearly genuinely cried. I was just curled up in a ball with my eyes tight closed and hands over my ears crying. Pretty sure that’s not normal?
southern_comfort wrote:
You have been taught early on that your body is sacred, correct? Catholic or Protestant background I’m guessing.
See that would also make sense. But nope. I’m a christian, church of england. I think it’s the most lax denomination! But they are the kind of views I have, even though that’s not what I’ve been taught.
You must consider the possiblity that you may be asexual. This condition affects approximately one percent of the population. It is characterized by having no sex drive at all.
Time to talk to your gynecologist . . . !
I like that someone comes straight out with the “have you been abused?” one.
Anyway..
I personally have a little fear of sex, I mean, I’ve done the first four things, but still not gone the entire way and have the usual teenage fears about the first time.
I run the scenario through my head sometime, and think of the awakwardness of me having to ask my boyfriend to stop, or having to hide the tears because it might hurt that much..
You should have a convosation with your partner, and, if as chev.jame says you simply just aren’t into sex or anything like that..then maybe do some other research. Good Luck. :)
Ps. If it’s tmi, I apologise..openness is excellent.
Anonymous
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1 year, 2 months ago (2 hours, 1 minute after post)
my.Lover.like.You wrote:
Have u been abused?
Why is being afraid of sex such an insane thing?
I feel like society is getting so weird about sex. It’s okay to not feel ready if you’re not with someone you really like.
Anonymous
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1 year, 2 months ago (22 hours, 36 minutes after post)
mangetout wrote:
Hm… I don’t really know!
Yeah being naked doesn’t thrill me. I also think it would just be megaaaa awkward. Like the act itself (not even counting the fact that I wouldn’t know what to do and I’d just get the giggles). And being that intimate with someone. And… I dunno, I just honestly think I’d get the giggles. And I can’t imagine ever showing that much emotion to someone.
I’m also not a fan of penises. (I am straight though… or maybe just asexual!).
The only reason I use the word phobia is because looking at things related make me genuinely gag. Like condoms. And in a lecture we were shown a picture of semen (not entirely sure why…) and I gagged. I still have to cover my eyes when I see people kiss on tv! And I watched a film where someone had sex and nearly genuinely cried. I was just curled up in a ball with my eyes tight closed and hands over my ears crying. Pretty sure that’s not normal?
in the old days, the pictures they show in health class were meant to be disgusting, in order to make kids afraid of sex. if you want to have sex, you cannot think of sex-ed.
can you get yourself off?
lemonlimebabe wrote:
I like that someone comes straight out with the “have you been abused?” one.
Anyway..
I personally have a little fear of sex, I mean, I’ve done the first four things, but still not gone the entire way and have the usual teenage fears about the first time.
I run the scenario through my head sometime, and think of the awakwardness of me having to ask my boyfriend to stop, or having to hide the tears because it might hurt that much..
You should have a convosation with your partner, and, if as chev.jame says you simply just aren’t into sex or anything like that..then maybe do some other research. Good Luck. :)
Ps. If it’s tmi, I apologise..openness is excellent.
If sex is so painful it makes you cry then you’re doing it wrong.
Siren
MarlinTheFish
southern_comfort
my.Lover.like.You
The Sherlockian
lemonlimebabe