I know for sure that there’s something wrong with me.
I’d appreciate it if you didn’t say there isn’t, cause my Psychiatrist has already confirmed that there is…
I’ve thought it was Bipolar Disorder, because I have all the symptoms and my Grandma has it, but my friends (who are really supportive, and know a fair bit about it seeing as two of them have Asperges and one has ADHD) think I have Autism or ADD. I don’t know what to think.
I get very angry about nothing, and I lose my temper with my family a lot - like at the dinner table I can’t stand it because they chew so loudly and I want to rip my hair out. I just get pissed off about everything and I just want to stay away from them because everything they do just irritates me. Apart from my little brother, we play video games together but sometimes it ends badly if he starts annoying me. I’m fine going to the cinema or whatever, but I hate when they choose the film I don’t like or the sweets I don’t want and I just get angry and pissed off at them cause they’re not thinking of everyone as a group.
I’m missing out on school alot, but my Psychiatrist has allowed 3 months until my parents get prosecuted, but I don’t know if I can go back to school because just the thought of it makes me want to cry. So many people have told me to just get over it and get a grip, but I just want to scream and say “STFU, I WISH I COULD YOU BASTARD” cause you know what? Even those stupid ‘professionals’ aren’t seeing the bigger picture. If I’m given more time to get my psychiatry issues sorted out, then I can go to a ‘Special School’ (or whatever you want to refer to it as -.-) for pre-teens like me with similar issues. I absolutley hate being at my school. I’ve already moved twice and I HATE ALL OF THEM. All the teachers look down on students and just don’t care at all about how patronizing they are and the students all act like they’re so much better than me and as much as I want to rip them to shreds and dance in the remains of their tattered bodies, I don’t do or say anything and I just feel like dying.
I feel down all the time and I just feel like I have no hope in life at all, and I get upset and cry all the time and over think my life and just feel worthless and apathetic. When I don’t feel like that, I am very loud and confident and tend to not really think things through. but if things don’t turn out well I get put in a strop very easily.
Some body tell me what I’m supposed to do? I want to tell my Psychiatrist all of this, but when I want to say it I don’t have the confidence. What do I do?
Since writing this post SingItForTheWorld may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. SingItForTheWorld is a verified member, has been around for 1 year, 8 months and has 2 posts and 2 replies to their name.
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