friends help: A man has been touching me inappropriately. - Help.com

Why do you end up alone with him? Are you a child?

Im 20. He is older than my dad. He is a very private man. He likes to talk to ppl one on one. My bf works for him, doing odd jobs, like painting his house. The first time he did this he was teaching me to drive. He told me i needed confidence and the calmer i was the more confident i’d be. He told me to keep my hands on the steering wheel. He was trying to show me that ppl would spill coffee on me & pull my hair (if i ever did have kids or something). He started rubbing my leg though which i thought was creepy, but i couldn’t really do anything. I hate being tickled, but he said kids wouldn’t stop tickling & he would tickle me to distract me and told me to keep focus on the road & use my voice if he wanted me to stop. He started touching my boobs and private area & i told him to stop and he did for awhile & he asked if he could rub my shoulder, i finally caved there. I wasn’t quite sure what to. He kinda took me by surprise. I didn’t expect a guy like him to do that. He says he is a Christian & talked about his church a lot & has a wife. I drove faster cuz i was mad, but i kept it all inside.

He was teaching me to drive. My bf works for him and was painting his house at the time. I’m 20 and very skinny.

“A man has been touching me inappropriately.”

So tell him to STOP. If he touches you say “I feel uncomfortable when you touch me that way. Please don’t.”

“He is my bf’s friend. They have been friends since they served jail time together. My bf believes he was innocent.”

So you have a boyfriend who doesn’t believe you? Why do you put up with that?

“I told my bf to give him a head’s up and not to do anything till he does it again.”

Why wait? Tell the guy “hands off”.

“We don’t know his exact intentions.”

Who cares? If you don’t like him touching you, his intentions are not relevant. YOU are important enough just to say you don’t want it happening. Period.

“I am a shy girl so he might be doing it to get me out of my shell and using my voice.”

What does any of this mean? If you don’t want, he must not do it. THat’s it.

“He is a very smart man, very successful. He somehow claimed and won for wrongful imprisonment. He knows a lot about the law and has friends in high places.”

So what? And why do you think he’s smart? He seems to be doing something pretty stupid… touching a girl who doesn’t want it.

“I want to get a hidden camera to put in my hair or somewhere and use as evidence just in case something goes wrong. I want to be one step ahead of this intelligent man for my protection. I need advice on what to do or not do.”

Have you told the guy to his face not to touch you? Why all these extra complications?

Sorry, im just confusing myself. This has never happened to me before. He caught me off guard. It was hard to focus and drive. I will tell him next time. My bf does believe me and that his friend was innocent.

When i did tell him to stop he would, but he would try somewhere else.

Why in heaven’s name are you even CONSIDERING allowing the situation to re-occur?

Who gives a fig what your bf thinks.

Know what honey? The way this reads sounds like you place greater importance on trapping the guy doing wrong than on PREVENTING him doing wrong.

My advice?

Find a new bf and warn your girlfriends to steer clear of them both.

in other words.. stay AWAY from him entirely and refuse LOUD AND CLEAR to have anything to do with him.

It is perfectly ok to say “NO. I am NOT getting in a car with you, I am not getting within 100 feet of you. Touch me again and you’ll find yourself explaining it to a judge”.

Then WALK AWAY.

Just tell him to stop or hit him. If he don’t think you mean what you say “he” will only continue. You could also tell him that you want to respect what “Jehovah God” says about being clean in all things.