This post left anonymously
I have a plan.
I have had a plan for a long time. I play guitar, I love my sister and I sketch constantly. Everyone says I have such great traits but I don’t see it.
My first attempt was after the one I loved crushed my heart after two years. After abusing my medication so much, an entire month’s worth of antidepressants only gave me a mild fever.
My second attempt was after a good friend of mine hung himself in the woods less than a mile from my house. I will never forget the day I want to remember least.
I am seventeen now, and I am on the other side of the issue. I broke her heart. She calls me every day, and I say nothing. I did it because I feel emotionless, as if a mold I have been fitting into has finally set around me.
The day afterward I wrote. I wrote my heart out and I set it out for all to see. I posted it on the library wall, and after a week the only comment it received was “get some antidepressants.”
I have been looking forward to the money coming to me for months now. Today my father claimed that money as his. This is the drunk of a father that has turned everything around but his lack of love for me.
I am misunderstood. I am closed inside myself. I am Matthew and I ask you today… what message should I give the world before I leave?
Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.
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