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First, thank you for taking the time to read my story. I really need some good advise. I am a female, going into my 30’s soon. Im in a relationship with my partner; we live together. We moved in together early in our relationship, and we’ve been together now for almost 2 years. At the start of our relationship things were great and not great, there was alot of ambivalence. My boyfriend is from another culture, I am American while my boyfriend is South American. Many of the games that were played in the start I feel came from his side, mind games, (double talk) while his actions were amazing; very affectionate, flowers romantic trips. His words were at times hurtful. However, I kept hanging on to what we initially had at the start, a flame that was so strong, I felt I knew this person for a long time. Eventually the games stopped. ( Some people say that games are what happends at the start of a relationsip, but his game was very mean. (This was a year ago).
Today, I feel that I love him, but there are many things I feel bother me. He is very judgmental about a lot of things, looks, culture, even a comment about someone putting an ugly basket on a nice bike, he said was tacky. I don’t know why his small comments bother me. ( but I feel self conscious) Recently he did say that im not easy going but if we were friends that wouldn’t be the case. I confronted him about that comment, he said he was just being sincere with me, and he loves me as a girlfriend, not a friend, he was just making an observation. The next night were having dinner together, he’s holding my hand, thanks me for the dinner. ( Just trying to put it on context) Anyways…he also is negative about many things…if the grocery store was closed on easter sunday, he compares life here to life in NYC, where everything is open, and stayed upset for a good 20 min, just for that.
I love his affection towards me, im very attracted to him, and he can be a great shoulder to cry on when I need someone. We laugh together, however I feel many of the laughs are about silly things, theres a lot of sarcastic humour which I for one, always felt sarcasamis is a mean sense of what people feel humour is.
I don’t know what to think anymore, I feel depressed thinking about not having him in my life, but I feel sad, and lonely at times with him. Sometimes I feel that we are not connected mentally. I don’t know if this makes any sense at all??
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