I’m just wondering if I should send my ex-girlfriend a text on her birthday.
If I did it would simply say, ‘Happy Birthday!’
As far as I know there was no cheating and things just got stale over our three years together and she decided to end it 3 weeks ago. I had almost ended it myself numerous times, but am afraid to hurt people and am afraid of change to the point that I would rather be miserable.
Her birthday is this week. We have been in very little contact; mostly only to talk about me coming to get the rest of my things at her house where we both lived. I also had a few low moments of emailing her asking for her back to which she declined, but has been very polite and says it is very hard for her not to beg for me back as well.
Everything seems honest although of course my mind goes wild with wonder sometimes and thinks there may be some other dude, etc. We both said we want to be friends after all the pain and heartbreak go away, but of course that’s the usual talk before one of us gets another relationship started.
I’m not sure I can ever be friends with her because of how much I love her. I would have done anything to make the relationship work and she just seemed to stop trying, which in turn made me a pretty lame boyfriend in hind sight, but she is definitely too immature for a commitment at this point in her life, so I don’t think I had too much of a shot to begin with. I just fall in love quickly and love forever, honestly.
I just collected all of my things from her house yesterday, but she just left the door unlocked and texted me later saying, ‘I am sorry I didn’t stay. I am still not doing well. I miss you a lot and tell your family I miss them too.’ Which gave my little heart some weird since of hope that only a broken hearted man can understand. I texted her back with, ‘I understand. I miss you too. I will let them know. Then something about how it was great to see the animals (because I wanted to create small talk like an idiot), then we will talk about the couch later (since it is my couch and I may want it back, undecided)’ She responded with ‘:-) OK,’ which was a let down, but whatever.
Anyway, now I’m still in my room this morning and I can’t seem to figure out what I would really get out of wishing her a happy birthday, but nonetheless still love her and want her to know I care.
Is it because I want the windows for conversation to stay open in case she ever decides to take me back? Yes!
Is it because I love her? Yes!
Is it because I would really love to be friends with her and keep in contact, if such a thing really does exist? Yes! Although the thought of her being with someone else makes me want to sit and cry for the rest of the day, maybe one day I won’t care and can be close friends. It has never happened with past exes, but who knows? I really thought I felt something different with her; a connection like I haven’t felt before.
OK, I’m 27 and heart broken, again! If you have read this far I would like to thank you for taking the time and please, give me any advice you can on whether or not I should send this ‘Happy Birthday’ message.
If I do send it I am planning on it being the last time she hears from me, at least until I am completely over the breakup or she contacts me first. With God’s help of course :-)
Thanks everyone!
Jason
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