college help: Will I ever have the determination to succeed in school?

PromisingMoon

Will I ever have the determination to succeed in school?

I was academically disqualified after my first year at a University, due to having to find a job and a lack of focus on school because of that. Now it has been a year and I was unable to pay for gas and push myself out of bed to get to the community college for two classes.

What’s wrong with me? I know this is my fault. I have addressed and fixed the issues that were around last year - yet I see no good results except in my work. I get up just fine to go to work, the grocery store, basic errands, but I can’t even get to school.

It’s like I have anxiety about it. Will I ever be determined to succeed? Or will my parents just see me as a failure until I am living on the streets…

This open post was written 1 year, 1 month ago | V/U/S: 487, 16, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post PromisingMoon may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. PromisingMoon is a verified member, has been around for 1 year, 3 months and has 12 posts and 179 replies to their name.

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Community college, Grocery store, determination, university, Just Fine, Community, results, failure, anxiety, college (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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scrnm2 2 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (2 minutes after post)

i dunno. i feel like i knew that all the other humans were out to screw me over since the 4th grade. yup i been a fu** up ever since. so maybe never?

Help me with: i wish everyone wud stfu about chick fil a.

PromisingMoon 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (4 minutes after post)

scrnm2 wrote:
i dunno. i feel like i knew that all the other humans were out to screw me over since the 4th grade. yup i been a fu** up ever since. so maybe never?

I have this awkward thing where I hope that humanity will turn out better.

I want to succeed in school - but somewhere between want and actually doing so I get lost.
I am fine at the beginning of a semester, but I slowly drift away…

Help me with: Looking for a bit of tooth advice…

PromisingMoon 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (8 minutes after post)

I don’t mean to get all overdramatic at the end. I’m just sad and disappointed in myself. I want to do better, but I guess I still don’t know how.

Help me with: Looking for a bit of tooth advice…

PromisingMoon invited 1 user to read this post 1 year, 1 month ago.

Help me with: Looking for a bit of tooth advice…

scrnm2 2 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (12 minutes after post)

i did that too. i did that generally through each school grade. i’m 30 now. when i look back through my life, i notice i did that proportionately too. in other words, the older i got the worse it got. when i started school i was an over achiever. by the 4th grade, i was telling my mother not to buy me name brand products, that i didn’t want to be different and failing. i think that’s when i realized how screwed up the world is. I realized I wasn’t learning but was in fact being made to think the way society wants me to think. limitless minds are born every day, it is we, or they, who ruin them by indoctrinating them into a system of rules that create cognitive dissonance and don’t make any sense when considering how human beings should exists.

humanity won’t get better.

Help me with: i wish everyone wud stfu about chick fil a.

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mumstheword 36 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (5 hours, 25 minutes after post)

You know, I often think we do things in life simply because that’s what everyone expects us to do - we are conditioned to thinking “I must have ambition, must improve myself…”

But is it realistic to think that we all must?

What if we are happy plodding along, working at the local store, doing simple things?

What if we are “explorers” more than “academics”… by this I mean, the sort of person who loves to dip into things that interest them here and there, but is not concerned with intense long-term focus on one particular subject?

Education systems rarely allow for “interested dippers” and “explorers” that much. Sadly, the bills have to be paid and education is still the most likely route to achieve that if entrepreneurism is not your scene.

“Success” is not just about a grade, a certificate or a salary. It’s also about knowing oneself and understanding what one really wants from life. With that must come the reality checks. Is what I want in life achievable? Can I really be happy if I don’t have the certificates I need to get the job I need to lead the lifestyle I desire…

What do you want from life?

That’s the first step. Consider your true objectives. Want to live a simple life on a smallholding, growing vegetables and reading quietly on the porch? There’s nothing wrong with that. But first you may need to do things that enable you to buy the smallholding..

When you highlight your life goals, the necessary processes become steps to achieve them rather than the primary focus. Take the emphasis away from the “course” and onto the end product “life”.

You might find that shifting focus actually helps you to maintain drive :o)

PromisingMoon 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (11 hours, 17 minutes after post)

Pnov and Mums, thanks so much for the input.

I definitely think it is entirely possible that school could just not be the route for me - but I love learning! What truly makes me happy is understanding people through theatre. I love being in theatre, and I have always pictured myself in college. Here in the US, it’s hard to get a good paying job unless you have a four year degree, but you are right. I haven’t been able to pick something to focus on in a school style for four years.

Most of what bugs me about this is I really don’t know what to do. What next step I should take. And I’m not sure how to figure that out.

Help me with: Looking for a bit of tooth advice…

This reply has been removed.

PromisingMoon 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (23 hours, 8 minutes after post)

1. I would move to NYC, go to school at NYU/work at a coffee shop and take my time to make it on Broadway. Do whatever it takes.
Oh, and cook. Alot. All the time. And buy amazing things to cook.
And wine.

2. Take different people that are most important to me on different small vacations. Take time to meditate. Eat lots and lots of food. Cook amazing wonderful things. And set up something so that when I’m gone, I live on through something like a small business or a scholarship fund.

3. I felt best in theatre. Around creativity. Around people.

4. If I could master one of them, it would be theatre or cooking/barista. Eventually, theatre would probably be my final goal, but for now I’d love being a full blown Barista. If I mastered theatre? Made it to where I really want to be? I’d feel like I accomplished my dreams.

Help me with: Looking for a bit of tooth advice…

This reply has been removed.

PromisingMoon 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (1 day after post)

The current courses I was taking aren’t. I’m waiting to see if I got back into the University I was originally attending here.

The people that are truly important to me other than my immediate family would be the man I’m in a relationship with, my best friend Liz, Julia, Rob, and Brent. They have always been there for me, and I them. Even though they aren’t all necessarily friends with eachother, they are my family. I want to discuss life and love, worldly views, even just silly things. I want to know everything about them I already don’t, if they are willing to share it. They are good people and wonderful friends.

Currently, where I am, I don’t think I am really embracing anything that makes me truly happy inside except for living with my man. All my friends mentioned above live in Southern California, and while I’m not ultimately pulled there, a part of me feels like I should be there. But I’m torn because the one I love is up here. Zack (my boyfriend) has said to me a few times that no matter what, he wants me to go for all my dreams and do what I believe will truly make me happy because he knows I wont have fulfilled my life until I do. And even if those plans don’t include him, he says he truly wants me to be happy, and I want the same for him.

Maybe it really would be better if I moved back home for a while….even though I don’t want to, could it be that that is what I need?

Help me with: Looking for a bit of tooth advice…

This reply has been removed.

PromisingMoon 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (1 day, 2 hours after post)

I just received a notice from the head of the board in charge of deciding my reinstatement; i either finish successfully at a community college or am not reaccepted to the school. But this is the exact opposite of what they originally asked of, not only me, but all academically disqualified students!

I am writing several drafts in order to keep fighting. I will not give up.

Help me with: Looking for a bit of tooth advice…

someone on this site 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year ago (1 week, 3 days after post)

If you need input on academics, university/college topics, feel free to give me a shout.

Whatever happens with the college thing, if you do or don’t go back, one thing is apparent, you need a “paradigm shift”. A change of perspective. Scenery. Options. Something. Change of some kind. Call it a real life game changer.

PromisingMoon 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (1 week, 3 days after post)

someone on this site wrote:
If you need input on academics, university/college topics, feel free to give me a shout.

Whatever happens with the college thing, if you do or don’t go back, one thing is apparent, you need a “paradigm shift”. A change of perspective. Scenery. Options. Something. Change of some kind. Call it a real life game changer.

I agree, and thanks for the hand. I’ll shout later when I have a bit more time. :]

Help me with: Looking for a bit of tooth advice…

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