Love help: I’ve known my Boyfriend for 2 years. - Help.com

Pac's Queen
offline Verified (4 years, 5 months) Visit Pac's Queen's shoutbox
An Unknown Location

I’ve known my Boyfriend for 2 years.

Since my break up with my last BF we’ve been talking for about 8 months. Although he liked me I never really though about him like that because all that time I was really in love with my ex still and wanted him back. He used to talk to me about it and I wanted him to advise me. I found out recently he was doing it through gritted teeth but nonetheless I didn’t see him like that. It’s funny because I before I met my ex I did like him and we used to talk but also as I’ve found out recently he said that he stopped talking to me because he could see where it was going and he didn’t want that at the time. (Between you and me, it wasn’t going anywhere. We spoke like people do on facebook, there wasn’t even any flirting) So we’ve known each other for a while as I said and we’re now dating BUT I don’t feel strong feelings for him like I should after knowing him for so long. Although it’s only been 2 weeks of dating, the time we’ve spent recently before dating should have made me like him a lot more than I do. Usually by this stage (and I don’t mean 2 weeks, I mean months of talking etc) I would feel a lot more than I do. Initially he did make me feel pressured because I didn’t feel ready to get back into a relationship because I guess I’m scared of being hurt. He would tell me that he was going to fight for us and although I told him I wasn’t ready he said things which due to bad memory I can’t remember but they made me feel like I should give him a chance because he really liked me and he is a good guy. I can vouch for that. Although their always good at the start. I’m sure in months I’ll be cussing him lol. (touch wood) I with him and it’s fun and I like his company but upon talking to my friend today she asked me whether or not I loved him and I responded with the whole it’s only been 2 weeks thing. She pointed out the fact that it’s possible to fall for someone before you officially start dating and this worries me. I’m nowhere near falling in love with him or at least I don’t think I am. The part of me that’s not too worried is the part that remembers my past relationships and the fact that I fell so quickly and that perhaps it’s best this way. Things going slowly. I am attracted to him so I guess it’s a start. I guess I want help with figuring out whether this is normal. Thanks Guys! :D

This open post was written 1 year ago | V/U/S: 350, 4, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


Reciprocity (0) Reciprocation Failure -- The poster has NOT helped anyone else yet!

Since writing this post Pac's Queen may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. Pac's Queen is a verified member, has been around for 4 years, 5 months and has 77 posts and 402 replies to their name.

Post Tags (11)

relationship, Remember, months, Wanted, dating, guess, start, ready, talk, Part, Love (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (4)

Where were you?

Click and drag to move the map around. FAQ: How we place people on this map »
You can also watch events on Help.com as they happen
Mouse over the map for 2 seconds to see an expanded, interactive view

Anonymous #
1 year ago (5 minutes after post)

holy wall of text batman!

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Anonymous #
1 year ago (2 hours, 58 minutes after post)

Not always but often if you’re friends with someone too long before progressing to a relationship, then it will become too late to have a relationship. It sounds like that’s the case with you. Also, you’re over-analyzing things. Don’t take your friend’s word as fact, what she said is only her opinion. Your post is you trying to come up with a means of verifying why it’s okay to end it with him, why you want to, and that you’re going to; only without actually saying it.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Anonymous #
1 year ago (3 days, 15 hours after post)

Give it time, there’s no rush to fall in love or to put labels on it.
Although he has been waiting for a long time, he should have the decency to respect your wishes and perhaps slow this down. You feel what you feel, and no matter how much force is applied, it won’t make you feel anything more at this moment in time.

It sounds like speaking to your friend and your boyfriend (and his expectations for you two) has made this an issue for you. You need to reiterate with your friend that it has only been two weeks - and it doesn’t matter if you’ve known each other a long time, changing your relationship from friends to romance will take time. Sometimes it doesn’t come naturally, but if you’re attracted to him as much as you say you are, and that you’re having fun while you’re with him - then where is the problem?

You take your time with this one, don’t be quick to determine whether it’ll last or whether it’ll be a non-starter. Just go at the pace you feel comfortable with, be with him based on what you feel and just go from there.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Pac's Queen offline Verified User (4 years, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (3 days, 20 hours after post)

I don’t think it’s too late for us because I did initially like him and I guess there was always some attraction but I was too distracted to care about.
Thank you for the last post. It really makes a lot of sense. I am going to take things slow and just go with the flow. I think I am over-analysing things but it’s something I’ve always done because I like to plan things and know where things may be going although you can never be sure. I’m also going to make the effort not to complain at him, another issue I have.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: I have a question.

Invite Others to Help

A logged in and verified Help.com member has the ability to setup a Friends List and invite others to help with posts.