boyfriend help: This is a rant. - Help.com

This is a rant.

My bf and I have been working through our problems for the past four months and his friend (names have been changed) Dan asks him out to the bar all the time, and my boyfriend always says “no” because he knows I work long hours, and I want to see him during the few hours I do spend at home during my 4 day workweek. They left for the bar right as I was getting out of work. He couldn’t at leas wait for me to get home. They wanted to stay out all night but my boyfriend “thoughtfully” bartered the time down to just 1am. He left me a cute note before he left and he said he missed me, and that it wouldn’t be a regular thing, but I am still kind of angry about it. He said he was going to make me look like a “cool” girlfriend by letting him go out, but I don’t care about being cool.

I guess my question is, how do you know when you’re “spoiled” in a relationship, or when you’re asking too much.

This open post was written 1 year, 1 month ago | V/U/S: 503, 12, 7 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post mella5 may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. mella5 is a verified member, has been around for 1 year, 2 months and has 2 posts and 25 replies to their name.

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defensive.crustacean offline Verified User (1 year, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (2 minutes after post)

whoa. if i was that guy i’d be gone.

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mella5 offline Verified User (1 year, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (6 minutes after post)

Why?

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roofdonkey offline Verified User (1 year, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 8 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (14 minutes after post)

That was very sweet of him to leave that note.
I would suggest do nothing.
See what HE does next.
If he continues going out to the bar, then sit down with him and explain exactly how you feel about the matter. Dont beat around the bush or try to express “signs” to him. No, tell him exactly in specific terms he will understand.
BUT, if he brings you flowers or invites you (when you have time) out to a nice date somewhere or something, then you will see that he genuinally cares for you. And that you should let him have his “guy time”

Hope that helps! Good luck

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☠wUt☠ offline Verified User (5 years, 10 months) Help.com Volunteer Moderator Long Term User Shouts: 26 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (17 minutes after post)

well you only work 4 days so why don’t you see him the other 3?

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mella5 offline Verified User (1 year, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (19 minutes after post)

Thanks, Roofdonkey. He and I have been together for 3 years and the letter was really nice. Everything’s probably going to be fine.

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mella5 offline Verified User (1 year, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (23 minutes after post)

Dani… yeeeah, this answer is a little embarrassing… I work 12 hrs for 4 days…. aaand… I DO see him those 3 days. Though to be fair, he spends half of one of those days with an online group playing a game.

I just really like spending time with him. I’m a little bit clingy… there’s nothing super wrong with that, I think.

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mella5 offline Verified User (1 year, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (26 minutes after post)

Also, I don’t trust the friends he was out with, one is a 40 year old recently divorced, the other is a 30 year old who isn’t looking for a girlfriend… I just don’t like it.

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autumn offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (37 minutes after post)

Wow, you are asking for too much. He just went out for a night. I dont see why you’d get angry about it. He still should be able to make time for his friends. He left a nice note…I dont see what the big deal is.

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☠wUt☠ offline Verified User (5 years, 10 months) Help.com Volunteer Moderator Long Term User Shouts: 26 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (44 minutes after post)

mella5 wrote:
Dani… yeeeah, this answer is a little embarrassing… I work 12 hrs for 4 days…. aaand… I DO see him those 3 days. Though to be fair, he spends half of one of those days with an online group playing a game.

I just really like spending time with him. I’m a little bit clingy… there’s nothing super wrong with that, I think.

You could go with him to the bar, I bet he’d love that

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mella5 offline Verified User (1 year, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (1 hour, 51 minutes after post)

Everything’s ok

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moonlightsupper offline Verified User (1 year, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 6 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (2 hours, 14 minutes after post)

If you got angry over that and after him being considerate enough to leave you a sweet note, I am sorry but you are being way too possessive and you need to be careful of being too “spoiled [spoilt]” and “asking for too much”. If thats what he really wants to do, why should you be angry?

Live and let live- and yes, that applies to people you genuinely love too.

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Dr. Ozy offline Verified User (6 years) Long Term User Shouts: 34 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year ago (1 day after post)

too clingy. let a man have his life, too.

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