Internet help: Am I ‘too old’ to be ‘emotionally abused’ by my mother? - Help.com

Well unless you can learn to just not let what she is saying affect you and to accept that that is just who she is, then yeah I would move out.

It’s hurtful being in an environment like that. There is nothing wrong with being a 20 year old and still upset by it, but if you want to change something then you only really have those two options.
Accept her, or move out.
But if moving out isn’t realistic for you at the moment then it would still be useful to look into trying to learn how to not let her behaviour hurt you as much.

This link might help:
http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-Emot…

or this one (I actually find some of what this one says more useful, it does say for adolescents but that doesnt mean some of the advice won’t apply)
http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-Emot…(for-Adolescents)

no one’s every too old or too young to be emotionally abused(or abused in general, unfortunately). if it’s been that way all your life i’m kind’a surprised you’re still there, personally i would leave asap(even if i didn’t have the means i would make it happen).

crystalsandsand wrote:
But if moving out isn’t realistic for you at the moment then it would still be useful to look into trying to learn how to not let her behaviour hurt you as much.

It really would be difficult to get the money for it but… I can’t really tell which would be more difficult to achieve at this point, trying to get enough savings to move out and live on my own or to cope with it.

monkichirmo wrote:
no one’s every too old or too young to be emotionally abused(or abused in general, unfortunately). if it’s been that way all your life i’m kind’a surprised you’re still there, personally i would leave asap(even if i didn’t have the means i would make it happen).

It wasn’t all that bad from the beginning, it used to just be like a bit of ranting every once in a while. It really escalated starting from when I went to high school, then going on to university it really was all I could do to support my tuition so I tried to bear with it but… I just feel so depressed and lost now.

There are certain quotes up there that I can agree with, but I have to say that I can’t agree with your premise. My own situation may or may not be one of those where the ‘hell is created only in my mind’, I don’t know, I can’t be an unbiased judge of my own situation.

I’m happy for you that you managed to change your life for the better that way. But what I want… What I feel I need isn’t words telling me to take charge of my life. I already understand that, and that was why I just wanted to hear some outside opinion on the two paths I was contemplating between. I have to be strong, I have to find my own happiness, I have to stop moping, I have to take care of my own emotional problems…

Am I the one that’s crazy for wishing someone would tell me that it’s okay to rely on others instead? That what happened isn’t my fault, that some things are just not in my control… Then again, it’s not like I’ve tried asking for this recently. I was scared that people would just tell me to get stronger again and… Well, if I keep hearing that, then the one in the wrong must obviously be me.

Thank you for replying everyone. And sorry to bother you all.

I’ll… Think about what I should do once more.

First of all, she’s probably going through menopause, hates her husband(assuming she has one),wants you to grow up, move out, she’s tired of her job and is stressed out all the time. These stressors will also cause some serious nutritional deficiencies, which she may have.
Secondly, you need to move out, get a life and stop being such a self-centered, self-absorbed, whiny, entitled, conceited brat.
Then, you will probably see quite and attitude change in your mom.

Oh….., and to you, Pnov: Get your feely good self into recovery; because you need to get off those mind altering drugs your on. You sure like to hear yourself!

Pnov wrote:
- and feeling good.
Here’s something else to consider thoguhtfully: WE are NOT our BELIEFS or FEELINGS,… BUT we do EXPERIENCE them.
I mention this to help you understand that when you take any action to improve how you feel, etc., YOU are actually NOT at risk, in any way. WHY? Because YOU are NOT your BELIEFS and FEELINGS.
YOU are the EXPERIENCER of your beliefs and feelings.
YOU can evolve what YOU experience by evolving your BELIEFS and FEELINGS.
It’s sort of like swapping out antiquated software programs, for more advanced, efficient programs, on a computer. Doing so just makes the computer more effective.
Improving your BELIEFS and FEELINGS just makes you more effective in experiencig the kind of life you want.

You’re never too old. It’s basically that trust factor. In society, people trust their mothers, no matter what. It’s an instinct. When your mother emotionally abuses you, you retreat. Then, you grow to trust her again automatically. Then she emotionally abuses you again, repeat. The only way to stop this cycle is to not be there when she’s stressed out. I know, I’ve been in this situation.