relationship help: am I pretty? - Help.com

Don’t stay in a relationship with anybody who makes you feel inadequate or insecure whether they mean to or not.

Find someone else. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

My view is that its not fair to ‘dump’ on others who are trying very hard to love you. So yes, you did the right thing. You have to deal with your self-esteem first if you want to stand any chance of making it work with someone else. Its not impossible.

should i have told him what i feel and the reason of the breaking up ?

You should not have broken up with him if he was showing you so much love and respect when others were telling him you were not worthy. He stood by you when things were tough and you dumped him…

He didn’t try to leave her. Are you reading the same post as me?

but he tried to leave me because of that but he couldnt do it because he just cant !! that just hurt me a lot

He tried but couldn’t do it? How does that happen? I guess he had a moment of weakness when others were trying to convince him of your unworthiness but then decided to follow his own convictions. I say you give him another chance. He sounds like he has been through a lot to be with you, maybe you should return the favor.

dr ralph i say to myself the same thing but i feel so insecure when i am with him i have doubt that he really sees me beautiful and will be with me i think he may believe that he loves me now but that will change because it is all a lie from the first place what do u think?

I think he sees you as beautiful and worth all his attention and love. People have tried to dissuade him from his beliefs but he has tossed them aside and gone with his heart. It sounds like you are not making it easy for him. Give him some time, do not rush into anything and see what happens. True love is hard to find.

Anonymous wrote:
dr ralph i say to myself the same thing but i feel so insecure when i am with him i have doubt that he really sees me beautiful and will be with me i think he may believe that he loves me now but that will change because it is all a lie from the first place what do u think?

Cant you see what you are doing? you are speculating, projecting and imagining stuff about him and predicting the future with zero evidence. You are essentially sabotaging any chance of you making a success of this relationship.

People struggle to figure each other out at the best of times so you don’t need to add complications into your life. Just go with the flow, take a risk (so what?!)don’t worry. Remember whatever it is you are worried about, if it hasn’t happened yet or if you have no real evidence of it, it could go any which way for you. It could be bad or good. You have equal chance. In other words, it doesn’t have to be doomed.

That also goes for how you think he sees you. You are ‘invading his mind’ and making assumptions about what he is thinking as if you really know. You don’t need all this drama in your life and he doesn’t either. Just use all that mental energy to be creative with your relationship and stop making it all about you.

you are so right..you cant even imagine how much he was trying to make it work so badly he really does love me so much me and i kept sabotaging all of that
i was always imaging negative things spacially i am having an important year of my study soon and i have to work so hard to get i want but i was scared if he left in the middle of that me i would be in a mess and that will effect on me and i wont be what i want but he promised that he will be beside me no matter what and support and love me for ever

Oh please don’t let a good thing go for no reason. Enjoy and treasure as much as possible with your boyfriend. He loves you and cares, just embrace it and if anything happens well…you know what? like everyone else you’ll manage. For now, don’t worry.

All the best.

Thank you so much you really has convinced me…what you and the dr. said makes sence thxxxxxx so much

My pleasure, Im glad I helped and Im sure the doc. is too :)

Moonlightsupper: if you felt insecure and you didnt trust yourself what would you do then?? I appercaite what are doing for me thank you for your time:)

Anonymous wrote:
Find someone else. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

People and Fishes are not the same thing.

They have more feeling than fishes i guess.

If Not this girl would never dump him :)

LOL, thats an expression Dyal, it means that there are more available singles and not to get caught up in one person if its not working out…

No Time To Hate : wrote:
]

Anonymous wrote:
Find someone else. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

People and Fishes are not the same thing.

They have more feeling than fishes i guess.

If Not this girl would never dump him :)

Anonymous wrote:
Moonlightsupper: if you felt insecure and you didnt trust yourself what would you do then?? I appercaite what are doing for me thank you for your time:)

Once I identify a problem area which I need to confront about myself, I usually turn to self-help to understand and learn ways to over come the problem. This is usually done via online resources/ material or some self-help book. There are lots of articles that can help you with insecurity issues and learning to trust yourself. The key thing is to keep working on yourself until you rid yourself of the problem. Stay focused on you, rather than allow the problem to continue spilling over to others. It certainly takes time to change beliefs and habits but if you are determined you will change any negative behavior.

Here are a few articles on dealing with insecurity that you may find helpful and perhaps will get you started:

http://www.2knowmyself.com/relationsh…
http://www.amiracleaday.com/articles/…
http://www.livestrong.com/article/146…

Dear Beautiful:

This article will help in addition to the ones that moonlightsupper added:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/y…

I believe your ex trying to break up with you made you feel ashamed — like, he was saying, “I’m ashamed to be seen with you.” Shame is a powerful weapon. Now, I didn’t say you had anything to be ashamed of, just that you’re feeling shame based on what he thought–which was immature on his part. You don’t sound immature at all.

I think feeling ashamed of the way you were treated (I know I would feel that way) is playing a huge part in your feelings of insecurity. But it’s possible to not allow shameful feelings to continue to make you feel insecure, if you can understand that we ALL feel ashamed at different points our lives (sometimes for good reason, too). But you did nothing to deserve to be treated that way. In fact, I bet they said those things about you because they were jealous of the attention he was giving you. Good thing he saw through all that and straight to you. Credit to him. :)

I hope things work out for you two.

All the best to you.

O__o Since when is love despite obstacles a bad thing? He stayed and ignored them because… he felt you were more worth it than impressing them. Thats good, appreciate that.

You’re insecurity lies within you, not him. He is merely a factor bringing it to surface, you want to impress him and your insecurity makes you feel that you lack the ability, you dont… obviousely.

Everybody is beautiful in their own way, you are not the exeption.

Thank you guys so much i do appreciate what you did for me talking to you has helped alot its a good thing to listen to different points of view because its makes u see things you didnt realise from now on i wont let anyone make me feel unworthy anymore i must see myself i am the best like before ;)

… blah, blah, blahhhh. ;-)

Just kiddin.

You’re welcome, kid.