I just need to vent
Well I’ve been struggling with serious anxiety issues for as long as I can remember. However I’ve seen no improvement or sign of it ending, even though I go to a therapist regularly. Drugs are my last option, the thought of being so unbalanced I need a pill just to act sane depresses me. So I try to avoid that.
My theory is that I haven’t actually been telling my therapist just how bad my anxiety gets sometimes, not intentionally I swear. Just as soon as I begin telling them what’s been going on I get chocked up, anxious, panicky. Immediately retreating into myself instead. “I’m doing ok, things aren’t too bad I guess, I’m managing ok.” These are typically what I say, not how I feel. I wonder if what I really need is just for someone to hold me while I cry and vent all my frustrations out. What I want so badly is for someone to hold me, comfort me. Don’t tell me I’ll be ok or suggest how to get better, just let me get all these hurtful damning thoughts off my chest. Let me cry until there’s nothing left.
I just want someone to listen for awhile, to understand how often I feel afraid. I want them to know the truth, so why can’t I do it? Why can’t I get past this chocked up feeling, this lump that wont let me speak.
Since writing this post The-Never-Ending-Why may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. The-Never-Ending-Why is a verified member, has been around for 5 years, 1 month and has 103 posts and 1,479 replies to their name.
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