Why do I have these weird thoughts?
Ever since I was young, my brain would tell me to do things that I didn’t WANT to do. Sounds weird, I know, but I just want to know if it’s normal.
The things are usually inappropriate and things that I would never normally do and things that I seriously DONT want to do!
When I was little, if I’d walk past a bus at a bus stop that was letting on passengers, my mind would always say “JUMP! JUMP ON IT! DO IT!” Even thought I was scared of being alone and getting lost when I was young. I would have to hold close to my mum because I thought that if I listened long enough, I would actually do it.
As I’ve got older (I’m 15 now) it’s got worse. The thoughts happen several times a day ad they’ve become quite inappropriate. One example of this is when I’m in school, so yes, this happens everyday. If someone with authority (ie, teacher) or someone who intimidates me comes up to me, either to mark my work or explain something, the thoughts will start. It will say things like ‘Tell them that you love them’ and ‘KISS THEM!’ and “Touch them!” when I really really really don’t want to do these things! I have to clench my fists really tight or pinch myself to suppress the thoughts until I’m out of the situation. I’m so scared that one day I will actually DO something. Imagine what will happen if I listened and went with the thoughts? And this is happening EVERYDAY! It’s painful to not be able to trust my own mind. I don’t like being up high, like a bridge, because my mind tells me to jump even when I don’t want to. I actually feel scared about that.
Is this normal? Does anyone else have thoughts like this? Please help.
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