relationship help: I can’t do anything to get girls to like me. - Help.com



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I can’t do anything to get girls to like me.

I have never had a girlfriend or sex and i’m almost 20. I go to a very large university and I was hoping that would solve my problems with girls in high school but sadly it hasn’t. I am a very social and upbeat guy in public and easily make friendships with guys. I am tall and skinny but I play a lot of basketball so I am in shape, i’m not great looking but i’m not ugly either. I easily can make girls laugh and befriend them but to get anything past that has never worked. I have been trying to dress nicer and clean up my language when i’m around girls but it has not changed the ultimate result. I am putting myself through college so I don’t have the money to join a frat and half of the girls on campus are only interested in you if you have greek letter on your chest. I am far past the point in which it is cute to be inexperienced with girls. I also have been lying to all my college friends that I have had sex etc. I didn’t want to lie for as long as I have been but I thought things would be different at college so I wouldn’t have to lie for long. I haven’t had any helpful relationship advice sense high school so I don’t even know what to fix these days. All my friends have had more than one girlfriend and i’m getting tired of hearing it’s going to work out next time (next time has going on for the past 3 years). If I don’t start conversation with girls they won’t with me and it’s just getting hard to keep my head up after years of rejection and disappointment. I try to learn form my mistakes as much as I can but it’s not enough. It just sucks seeing girls with ****** guys and wondering what are they doing differently than me. If anyone has any positive feedback or suggestions that would be great.

update
I do shower daily lol, and stopped being too nice to girls in high school. As far friends that are girls I have very few, but I grew up with in a all girl house with my mom, aunt, and two little sisters, aka I always put the seat down. I try be myself but lately I have admit I put on a overconfidence front around girls to try to hide my actual little confidence. In my experiences if girls catch a hint of weakness they are not interested. Basically any time I show emotion for a girl she is not interested. I have made the mistake of coming on too strong and I have also made the mistake of not being aggressive enough when I should have.

This open post was written 1 year, 1 month ago | V/U/S: 598, 9, 7 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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MelanieDi offline Verified User (1 year, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (35 minutes after post)

You sound like a very good person. I know this is cliche, but patience is a virtue. If those girls don’t like you now, nothing you do will change their mind about you. Just be yourself. The right girl will come along eventually. Most girls actually like it when a guy hasn’t slept with a bunch of random girls. Best of luck.

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Help me with: I’m doing it again.
verge offline Verified User (1 year, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 134 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (51 minutes after post)

I don’t know whether you do this, but the biggest mistake I see nice, cool, guys who want a relationship or sex making is that they give freely all of the things that the girl wants. Do you always give up your seat for girls you hang around, give them massages, hugs, and attention in general? I see this so often, then the guy says, “the nice guy finishes last”. The reason is that you are the shoulder girls cry on without asking anything in return. This can be okay in small amounts, but if you always let girls lean on you, then they won’t see you as attractive because they don’t have to even try to make you do things for them or pay attention to them. If this isn’t you, sorry, I have no idea what is going on.

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perceptor. offline Verified User (3 years, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 4 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (1 hour, 4 minutes after post)

Let me ask you this question: if you were a girl what type of guy would you want :)
Just be that guy! (and do not afraid to exaggerate on that thought)
Don’t be the guy that everyone would want as a friend.. be the guy that everyone want to be like.

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justthewayyouare2 offline Verified User (2 years, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 4 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (4 hours, 7 minutes after post)

The most important thing is to be yourself around girls. Never fake who you are, that you think is a girls type. If you cus like a sailor, then cus like a sailor, if you dress like this then dress like this. Well im guessing your no shy around guys. Do you have any close friends that are girls, or sister; if so ask for some advice about girls. Life is unexpecting, you never know you can get a girl tomorrow.

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Help me with: Good or bad?
howls.calcifer4 offline Verified User (1 year, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (4 hours, 17 minutes after post)

hmm… you seem to be doing everything right :P sooooo
It could be that you intimidate girls? maybe chicks feel like youre out of their league? maybe youre talking to the wrong kind of girls. possibly youre TOO nice and are chronically friend-zoned. maybe you appear under-confident. do you shower every day?cuz you might just smell. LOL

think outside the box about this one. hell, maybe do something crazy/outrageous to catch a lot of attention.

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Anonymous edited this post 1 year, 1 month ago. Read the previous text »

I can’t do anything to get girls to like me. I have never had a girlfriend or sex and i’m almost 20. I go to a very large university and I was hoping that would solve my problems with girls in high school but sadly it hasn’t. I am a very social and upbeat guy in public and easily make friendships with guys. I am tall and skinny but I play a lot of basketball so I am in shape, i’m not great looking but i’m not ugly either. I easily can make girls laugh and befriend them but to get anything past that has never worked. I have been trying to dress nicer and clean up my language when i’m around girls but it has not changed the ultimate result. I am putting myself through college so I don’t have the money to join a frat and half of the girls on campus are only interested in you if you have greek letter on your chest. I am far past the point in which it is cute to be inexperienced with girls. I also have been lying to all my college friends that I have had sex etc. I didn’t want to lie for as long as I have been but I thought things would be different at college so I wouldn’t have to lie for long. I haven’t had any helpful relationship advice sense high school so I don’t even know what to fix these days. All my friends have had more than one girlfriend and i’m getting tired of hearing it’s going to work out next time (next time has going on for the past 3 years). If I don’t start conversation with girls they won’t with me and it’s just getting hard to keep my head up after years of rejection and disappointment. I try to learn form my mistakes as much as I can but it’s not enough. It just sucks seeing girls with ****** guys and wondering what are they doing differently than me. If anyone has any positive feedback or suggestions that would be great.

Anonymous edited this post 1 year, 1 month ago. Read the previous text »

I can’t do anything to get girls to like me. I have never had a girlfriend or sex and i’m almost 20. I go to a very large university and I was hoping that would solve my problems with girls in high school but sadly it hasn’t. I am a very social and upbeat guy in public and easily make friendships with guys. I am tall and skinny but I play a lot of basketball so I am in shape, i’m not great looking but i’m not ugly either. I easily can make girls laugh and befriend them but to get anything past that has never worked. I have been trying to dress nicer and clean up my language when i’m around girls but it has not changed the ultimate result. I am putting myself through college so I don’t have the money to join a frat and half of the girls on campus are only interested in you if you have greek letter on your chest. I am far past the point in which it is cute to be inexperienced with girls. I also have been lying to all my college friends that I have had sex etc. I didn’t want to lie for as long as I have been but I thought things would be different at college so I wouldn’t have to lie for long. I haven’t had any helpful relationship advice sense high school so I don’t even know what to fix these days. All my friends have had more than one girlfriend and i’m getting tired of hearing it’s going to work out next time (next time has going on for the past 3 years). If I don’t start conversation with girls they won’t with me and it’s just getting hard to keep my head up after years of rejection and disappointment. I try to learn form my mistakes as much as I can but it’s not enough. It just sucks seeing girls with ****** guys and wondering what are they doing differently than me. If anyone has any positive feedback or suggestions that would be great.

update
I do shower daily lol, and stopped being too nice to girls in high school. As far friends that are girls I have very a very few, but I grew up with in a all girl house with my mom, aunt, and two little sisters, aka I always put the seat down. I try be myself but lately I have admit I put on a overconfidence front around girls to try to hide my actual little confidence. In my experiences I if girls caught hint of weakness they are not interested. Basically any time I show emotion for a girl she is not interested. I have made the mistake of coming on too strong and I have also made the mistake of not being aggressive enough when I should have.

verge offline Verified User (1 year, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 134 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (14 hours, 16 minutes after post)

Hmm.. you seem like a catch. I guess the only other thing is make sure you don’t make fun of other people too much, but you don’t seem to be that kind of guy anyways. Just wait, the girls will notice soon enough. If worst comes to worst and you are still a virgin in a couple of years, which I really think you won’t be, start abstract painting (painting indistinguishable from what five year olds do with finger paint) it’s really easy and somehow people actually believe it is good art, and say you listen to music like Iron and Wine, you’ll snag an artsy girl especially if you play up the whole my friends are jocks and don’t understand me angle.

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Anonymous #
1 year ago (3 weeks, 6 days after post)

You’re still too young. Your salad-days are too worth to cried for something that too profane. Let’s eat, drink and be merry, dude.

Let’s yourself happy. You can sharpen your Math skill, you can take many language-class in order to enrich your life, or start to learn how to cook and bake a cake, or build your own business-empire. What I want to tell you here is, if you can be a happy independent-person, everyone will gravitate towards you. Trust me. I talk my walk here.

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