Person help: Am I a sadist? - Help.com



This post left anonymously

Am I a sadist?

I get pleasure from the sight of blood and I crave seeing it all the time. I get a thrill from manipulating and overpowering people. There are more things, but the fact that makes me think I might not be is the fact that I hate it. I don’t find amusement from it, I just get a rush and pleasure from it, but I am disgusted by it. I don’t commit anything that makes me do these things, I dedicate my life to trying to help people because I also have a overwhelming unconditional care for others. It’s so conflicting and its slowly destroying me because part of me thinks that my core is sadistic, but I just want to be good. I want to be a good person and I don’t want people to feel pain I don’t want to be a component of that. But my fantasies don’t stop. Can I still love and care and still be sadist. The more innocent and good a person is the harder it is for me to fantasize about hurting them. And if being good is possible for me how do I live with this inner evil. I don’t want to hurt, but the cravings are so strong and its really taking a toll of my health. The more I try to prevent it the worst I get, especially since I have no positive focus like anyone to help right now. Please help, am I really a monster if I truly don’t want to be.

This open post was written 1 year ago | V/U/S: 488, 3, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


Reciprocity (0) Reciprocation Failure -- The poster has NOT helped anyone else yet!

Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.

Post Tags (10)

unconditional, Right Now, Right Now, Amusement, Component, pleasure, Positive, monster, strong, Person (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (3)

Where were you?

Click and drag to move the map around. FAQ: How we place people on this map »
You can also watch events on Help.com as they happen
Mouse over the map for 2 seconds to see an expanded, interactive view

liendr offline Verified User (1 year, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (2 hours, 58 minutes after post)

Dont be so hard to yourself, its not uncommon to fancy about overpower or even hurting people we dont like. Its in the human nature. You’re not guilty for thinking things. You would be if you actually did these things to the people but you dont and tahts what matters.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: Do men get self conscious around independant succesful women?
verge offline Verified User (1 year, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 134 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (7 hours, 12 minutes after post)

You aren’t bad as long as your actions are good.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: What if we knew that we were good?
The Sherlockian offline Verified User (5 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 39 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (9 hours, 37 minutes after post)

You need help in purging these thoughts from your mind. Left to grow, they may one day overpower you.

Most likely you suffered a trauma in your childhood which made you feel weak and vulnerable. Sadistic thoughts or acts can give you a sense of power that makes you feel invulnerable.

Seek help . . . and stop letting sadistic thoughts rent space in your mind!

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: Rape and justice in the wonderful world of Sharia law in Dubai .

Invite Others to Help

A logged in and verified Help.com member has the ability to setup a Friends List and invite others to help with posts.