This post left anonymously
I am 54 years old, married, unemployed and under-employed, almost destitute, no insurance, no employment prospects, hoping I wake up dead every day.
I feel as if my entire life has been wasted. In the past two months I have sent out over 600 resumes. Those resumes have resulted in 7 phone interviews, out of those 7 phone interviews I have received 0 personal interviews. I am exhausted. Physically and mentally exhausted. No sleep as the temp job I have is overnights, and since my wife demands that nothing can be done without me, the amount of sleep I get is minimal, that causes significant tension. My wife has not worked in a number of years since we closed our business. We are helping take care of our toddler grandson as his father (our son)is trying to be a single father (his choices in partners have not been the best for him or his son). I really want to leave. My flight mechanisms are screaming for me to get out of this life but I have no money, no job prospects that are going to help facillitate leaving, I do not have the intestinal fortitude to kill myself so I am stuck and I hate and resent myself and others. I have been told to accept less money in my chosen field for the work I do. My current partime job pays less than unemployment benefits in the state I am living. I am simply at the end of my rope and do not know what I should do next. I have tried to focus in on positive situations but they haven’t helped all that much as the crushing reality that is my life tends to overshadow any positives. The dissappoinment in me that I see in my wifes’ eyes is soul rendering. Don’t know if this is going to result in any solutions, but at this point I am willing to try anything.
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