boyfriend help: My boyfriend is sneaking some type of porn. - Help.com

Ypou might be right.
Look through his history on his computer, see what he’s up to.

so it doesn’t have to be porn, you really have no idea what he’s doing. instead of pointing fingers why not ask him. one of those times say you’re wondering what he’s doing, typing away so fast. if he clicked out of the screen ask him to show you what else he’s been working on. if it’s nothing he’ll willingly do it. if it’s something, at least it’ll be out in the open and you can deal w/ it.

If it was nothing, he wouldn’t change the screen when she walks in the room.
If i’m chatting to a friend on fb, or checking my emails, i don’t change the screen when my partner comes in the room, that’s cos i’m not doing anything i shouldn’t be doing.

Maybe respect his privacy? I know I wouldn’t want to be with someone snooping around thinking they owned me. Just do the brave thing and confront it or leave it alone.

tell your boyfriend that you feel like he’s going behind your back and you want to know what’s going on. give him a chance to come clean. spying won’t help your issue - that will only exacerbate the feeling that there is no trust in your relationship.

It’s where he goes without you that should be more of a concern.

A person that isn’t up to something they shouldn’t be wouldn’t be soo secretive.

tell him if he is looking at porn can you watch it with him.

BuckingFastard (J.N) wrote:
If it was nothing, he wouldn’t change the screen when she walks in the room.
If i’m chatting to a friend on fb, or checking my emails, i don’t change the screen when my partner comes in the room, that’s cos i’m not doing anything i shouldn’t be doing.

Hey , thanks for your support! And you are right, he wouldn’t change the screen when I walk in. Everything you said is correct! And by the way I forgot to mention that I DID catch him sort of in the act. He stood up to pretend he was getting back to work so I jumped in his chair and he was fighting me refusing me to not touch his computer! By the way he is a computer tech so he knows all the ins and outs and quick ways to hide stuff. Any way I clicked on a I con at bottom of screen and he immediately shut down his computer because a pic came up of a mans you know what but I think it was really a women with a fake one on.

I am gonna try and respond to everyone in one message. I am new to this so bear with me. Not sure if I’m doing things right on here! But first I want to say that it is porn he is fooling around with. As much a he would like it to be a secret he gave it away about 10yrs ago when he came out and told me he used to be addicted. And I caught him with other stuff to like sick porn story’s he had printed out and left out in the open. And it’s a fact that he is very kinky. And I tried talking to him and he won’t talk! It turns into a argument and he TRIES to DENY it but contridicts himself in the next sentence in the heat of our argument. Now I must admit he hardly goes out anywhere so Im 99percent sure he is not cheating but whatever he is doing on the computer is cheating as far as I’m concerned. I don’t care if he is just looking at naked pics but I know it’s more than that. Like reading heavy duty porn stories, maybe chatting with others, playing some sort of porno downloaded game or having sex through typing to others or something like that! I read somewhere a girl caught her boyfriend chatting with other couples and singles tellin them what to do sexually! Ugh I m just so hurt and sick that he would even waste his time on such a thing! As far as us watching it together we have tried and for me it can be very awkward and it just seems embarrassing for me and he can tell so it makes him uncomfortable! And plus I know that he is into stuff he doesn’t want to admit to!

Don’t know if I mentioned this but I am 49yrsold. To old for secrets in a relationship of 10 yrs. I am such a honest and upfront person! I don’t hide anything! Man I am to open!and especially with my partner, I dont believe in keeping things from him, especially something sexual that I would like to share with him. That is why I am having such a hard time. Also I did not mention he had spinal surgery 10 yrs ago which caused some nerve damage. He needs a cane to help him walk and has hand controls for the car. He claims he has numbness in different parts of his body and when it comes to sex he cannot have a orgasm when we have intercourse. He can only orgasm through hand stimulation and not my hand either. It’s got to his hand! Oh if all of you only new the pain and feelings I have been through because I would think it was me. That I just don’t turn him on enough and so on! We have been through so many arguments about it and he assures me that it’s not me. It’s that since the spinal surgery it messes him up and he doesn’t have the feeling he used to have . It also takes him forever to have a orgasm! Sometimes he can’t have one at all! When I say orgasm I mean ejaculate. Sorry I hate to be so personal and traffic but I need help dealing with this so I have to be honest for everyone to understand what is going on here. So he says when he looks at porn it helps him get excited for the next time we have sex! And my response to that is ” so you are saying I don’t excite you” he insists it’s not that and that I don’t understand. I’m sorry, I don’t believe him. I don’t care about his disability! I should excite him enough! I should be enough for him! Bottom line!

You’re immature if that’s your stance. “I don’t care about him” ” “I should be enough” Hell I love my bike but I still watch motocross. I fell sorry for this guy.

have you tried couples counseling?
if he has had a past addiction with porn, this is a real issue. porn addiction can be just as troubling to a relationship as any other kind.
your boyfriend has a lot of problems with his sexuality, and i think it’s clear that neither of you truly understand it enough to deal with something like this. i really recommend both of you going to see a therapist.

Anonymous wrote:
You’re immature if that’s your stance. “I don’t care about him” ” “I should be enough” Hell I love my bike but I still watch motocross. I fell sorry for this guy.

Maybe you are right! I’m having a hard time with it though. I wish I could feel different. Actually I get moody about it. I’ll be aware it’s goin on but I just don’t let it get to me.

couples counseling. hello?

Judi.sturgeo wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You’re immature if that’s your stance. “I don’t care about him” ” “I should be enough” Hell I love my bike but I still watch motocross. I fell sorry for this guy.

Maybe you are right! I’m having a hard time with it though. I wish I could feel different. Actually I get moody about it. I’ll be aware it’s goin on but I just don’t let it get to me.

Well the first step is wanting to feel different, just have a conversation with him and if it bothers you that much and he loves you he’ll cut it back for you. We all make sacrifices.

Thank you! We are doing better! We talked and he didn’t have anything to say but he is being nicer to me and spending a little more time with me! Until it dies down and I get preoccupied with something around the house. Like a project of some sort. It’s happened a couple times before! I just get annoyed that someone can get so caught up in such a useless act. It’s like get a life and concentrate on what’s important! But it’s whatever for now!

Anonymous wrote:
You’re immature if that’s your stance. “I don’t care about him” ” “I should be enough” Hell I love my bike but I still watch motocross. I fell sorry for this guy.

Nope, i’m with the poster, he shouldn’t need more than her.

Judi.sturgeo wrote:
Thank you! We are doing better! We talked and he didn’t have anything to say but he is being nicer to me and spending a little more time with me! Until it dies down and I get preoccupied with something around the house. Like a project of some sort. It’s happened a couple times before! I just get annoyed that someone can get so caught up in such a useless act. It’s like get a life and concentrate on what’s important! But it’s whatever for now!

Well that’s the main thing. Just take it one day at a time.