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Hi-ya, I live on a small island that is inhabited with approximately 175,000 people.
I’ve grown up here, but lately I have been having some issues. I have been seeing a psychologist for depression and soon I will be seeing a psychiatrist to see if I should receive anti-depressants. The problem is… I don’t really have a strong support system. I know the people I had grown up with, but I always felt as if I wanted to be left alone. My family is avoiding me as well. I mean they speak with me and ask if I would like to spend time with them, but other than that nothing. I also live with my mother since I attend the university here, but she seems to be avoiding me as well. They originally did not want me to see a psychologist because the file would follow me, but I really cared about my well being, so decided to seek professional help. It gets hard trying to be on my own when family is very important here. I always feel like an outsider even though I do speak with people… I just never feel emotionally connected. My psychologist believes that I may have a personality disorder as well… so, that just adds to the list for why I should be ostracized. It gets hard for me to think about a list of things I should be happy for… or why I should stay alive. I mean, I am basically my only caring friend that tells myself that the situation will eventually get better and that I should continue to push forward; however, my other half feels like a complete f***** up and that I will always be left alone because people think that I may go crazy and do something detrimental.
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