talk help: im having a really hard time giving up a bad habit. - Help.com

I made a list of bad things that would happen if i kept doing it, and the good things that would happen. If you keep telling yourself that the habit is doing bad for you and maybe other people, it will get your brain to stop doing it. Of course it doesn’t always work, but you can try. Also, if you have a habit of something and it’s hard to get rid of, try to wean yourself off of it everyday, and maybe reward yourself when you don’t do it or maybe make a consequence when you do it. It’s just like kids, soon they learn not to make it a habit if there are negative consequences. so you can try that with yourself. This helped me, anyways. I hope this helped :)

What I have heard is like, put a rubber band on your wrist and everytime you think about doing your habit then snap it. It doesnt have to be hard or anything. Its more of like, a diversion for your brain. I have also read somewhere that it takes 18 days to make a habit and 28 days to break one, so I believe that the first 28 days will be the hardest, but after that it gets easier. I hope I helped..

This is a bit embarrassing for me. So, I’m going to reply anonymously.

I admit I (still) have a problem with p0rn. Something I started indulging in, around the year 1998. I left it (on and off) over the years, but of late, I find myself indulging again in it.

I had tried to be clean in my mind and honestly pray to be delivered of it - and many people (pastors) have surprisingly sensed this and have voluntarily prayed over me to be delivered. Yet, I find myself getting weak again and again and again and again. So much that the night seems to be a time for restrained indulgence and the morning is a time for tears and asking for forgiveness.

I wish you strength. I don’t know what can help. (These days all Self-Help books bounce off. I have developed a resistance/skepticism/cynicism for techniques. I think only God can help. And I don’t know why He doesn’t intervene and just get it rid for us. He can do that with just one word. No that He doesn’t care. I firmly believe He cares and loves - regardless of how high or low my feelings are. But I haven’t been able to figure this out.)

thank you guys, especially anonymous, that was very kind of you to share your struggle with me in order to help! best of luck to you.

Anonymous wrote:
thank you guys, especially anonymous, that was very kind of you to share your struggle with me in order to help! best of luck to you.

I hope you realize you are not alone as you struggle. All too often we are too embarrassed to come out with this - and end up struggling on our own - with guilt and impulses and other things we are not yet masters over.

I’m trying to search for a letter written by Paul Myzia. he was struggling with this when he was 16 years old. And he wrote a lot about it (from a christian perspective) on why he gave it up. It hit me hard. But now I can’t trace that note on the internet. His note for girls on modesty is there somewhere though.

You know how God reached out to me? He (God) did that many many times..

Two months back, in India, we had a guest pastor from UK talk about this in a youth meeting. He mentioned how he, as a 16 year old, was s3xually abused by a (this is sad) bible college person. :-( He kept that shame with him and blamed himself that he must’ve been in some convoluted way been responsible for it (too). After 3 years of keeping it to himself (in the meanwhile he continued to be a pastor’s son, a worship leader, and ‘good boy’) but this was eating him up. He tried to commit suicide, buying a bottle of chloroform (to drink). But he says it was God who knew how to save him. Before he drank it in his bathroom, he for some unknown reason, decided to sniff/check it. And he became unconscious. When he woke up the chloroform was all spilled on the floor. He cried and prayed and he said then ‘the Holy Spirit told me to go and talk to pastor Bruce.’ He wondered why that pastor in particular. He went to talk to him the next day and found out why. That elder man, had also been s3xually abused when he was a younger man. So, he knew exactly how to reach out to him. After saying this (he mentions this thing very rarely) he made an altar call. Saying many of you guys are struggling with p0rn or unforgiveness. I am going to ask you to come to the front of the hall and give it all to God for healing. I ran to the front and was first there… He prayed over me. Along with praying for many many others. God reached out to me when i was struggling with this.

But I backslid three weeks back. And again felt lousy about myself. And prayed for forgiveness. The following sunday another guest pastor (Indian) gave a testimony of how God saved him from business failure (a loss of Rupees 3 Crores; 1 Crore = 10 Million) and attempted suicide and healed his mom who was given 6 months to live (it is 30 years now - she is still alive). When I went to thank him, he looked at me and said ‘Brother, you are going around in circles’. I admitted and he prayed over me. Again, this is not something I asked for, but God reached out to me through another person.

I again backslid two days back! And I realized I am a wretch. Incorrigible. Completely lacking strength (and weak character) because these are very dishonorable things to do. And just yesterday, I ‘realized’ again that I really do not need p0rn/3rotica. I felt so light and happy that I thanked God.

I believe a lot of it is His grace. Despite our sin. This does speak a lot about how willing he is to help us. Only mess is how weak we are. And He must judge sin. He must, because He is righteous…

Anyway, I keep going on and on… All the best.

*hug* you are so brave to have been able to actually get up when the pastor spoke of the people who needed to be healed. WOW. I’m really glad you’ve realized god is on your side. I believe that will make the journey a lot more bearable, keep trying! but don’t hate yourself for it, that, in my eyes, is a pretty petty sin! You seem like an overall wonderful, kind, honest person so give yourself some praise for that!

Anonymous wrote:
*hug* you are so brave to have been able to actually get up when the pastor spoke of the people who needed to be healed. WOW. I’m really glad you’ve realized god is on your side. I believe that will make the journey a lot more bearable, keep trying! but don’t hate yourself for it, that, in my eyes, is a pretty petty sin! You seem like an overall wonderful, kind, honest person so give yourself some praise for that!

Thank you. :-) I trust we’ll be just fine…