that’s kind of lame. i side w/ your friend here, either spouse not ‘allowing’ their significant other to do anything is uncalled for(imo). unless it’s inside some kind of fetish or something in which both parties agree to play this game, i don’t think a relationship is that of a parent and child were you need permission. if he was upset by you ‘even asking’ granted he’s free to tell you about it, but that’s about it- would still be your decision. personally i get irritated just thinking about it(lol), i wouldn’t do that to anyone else and definitely wouldn’t want it being done to me. i would probably have gone w/ the other group anyway. i hope you guys can work out your issues here.
I too would side with your friend here. Your husband has no right to dictate what you can and can’t do, just like you don’t have that right over him. Has he acted like this before or is it a new thing?
I think you need to sit down with him and discuss what happened, and ask him why he wouldn’t allow you to go.
Question: Why weren’t you carrying your own cash and ID?
I thought it was uncalled for to and told him I’m not going to be told what to do. And he said well I wouldn’t of left u over it but I would have been mad if u would of went. He has be acting more and more like this. I haven’t went out without him in yrs and the couple of times I did it was special occasions for girls night. Since being with him I’ve noticed little things like him drving me everywhere even to the mall and walking me around even to get just women stuff lol. I did ask him what’s the deal and he said it cause he wouldn’t be there to keep the other men away from me.. jeez really. I told him I’m a grown up and can say no to any men coming onto me. So then he said maybe if u plan it ahead of time and he would never leave me at a bar with half our friends to go with the other half. Idk what the eff. Sometimes u need to hangout with other ppl I just wanted to do something different not someone different
I didn’t want to bring my purse in the bar so he pays and holds my id for me in his wallet.
It sounds like he thinks he OWNS you. You should probably get couples counseling right away. Did he have a bad childhood?
No not bad but his mom did cheat on his dad when he was under 10. His friends said jeez he must efn love u he never acted like this before u were married. He admitted it was wrong the next morning but man did he get pissed when I asked to go with them to another bar while he hungout and played darts. I’m still pretty pissed about it and I told pur friends next time they go out come pick me up and ill go with them..I don’t like to play games but dang I may need to test how controling he can be before I just snap on him
Listen, I’m not saying that this is what’s up, BUT…
It is very common to happen that if men have been unfaithful, their feelings of guilt will make them project their unfaithfulness onto their wife. If this behaviour started suddenly, then it might be worth having a conversation with him about whether or not he’s been unfaithful to you.
I’m not making any accusations. I’m just saying that it’s happened before.
Ill ask but we litterally have no time aprt from each other. We even work the same hrs and he drops me off and picks me. He did lie about money though and I caught him
I think Rosabella’s right, you should seek counselling now before it gets worse. He needs to understand that for you to have a healthy, happy relationship you need time away from each other, otherwise you’ll get sick of each other and end up arguing over everything. It’s good for you to do things without the other sometimes, and it gives you more to talk about when you are together.
north_shere wrote:
His friends said jeez he must efn love u he never acted like this before u were married.
This behavior is not necessarily a sign of love.
north_shere wrote:
I’m still pretty pissed about it and I told pur friends next time they go out come pick me up and ill go with them..I don’t like to play games but dang I may need to test how controling he can be before I just snap on him
Being pissed and playing games = going down the wrong road in a marriage. You should aim to be peaceful and HONEST.
I tried being nice and talkn he just doesn’t see my point of view. He doesn’t understand why I would want to hangout with other ppl. I’m just sick and bored of doing the same thing.
Have you told him you need to do something new? If he really can’t see your point of view, I again suggest marriage counselling. That way you can try to help him see your point of view in a controlled environment, where things can’t get out of hand and turn into an argument.
north_shere wrote:
I tried being nice and talkn he just doesn’t see my point of view. He doesn’t understand why I would want to hangout with other ppl. I’m just sick and bored of doing the same thing.
Do you honestly think he is going to improve on his own? Things will get worse if you don’t nip this in the bud ASAP. He is displaying controlling behavior along with manipulation to keep you happy after an upsetting event.
Do what you need to do to have a happy life otherwise he will suck the joy out of your life and before you even realise it.
So talked after work and he said it will be fine and next time he won’t say no. And that it was his dislike of one peson in the group. Oh and if I want to hang out with doche bags to go ahead next time. And he figured I was fine where I wa sand he didn’t understand why I wanted to hangout with the other group of ppl but from now on I do what I want lol
north_shere wrote:
I tried being nice and talkn he just doesn’t see my point of view. He doesn’t understand why I would want to hangout with other ppl. I’m just sick and bored of doing the same thing.
Interesting that you started your post with this: “I’ve been married 2 yrs now and we are happy.” It doesn’t seem that you are happy after all.
I hope you can work it out, but if not then I hope you don’t spend years trying, because life is very short after all. If you are 20, that means you’ve used up 2 out of a likely 7 decades of your life …
north_shere wrote:
So talked after work and he said it will be fine and next time he won’t say no. And that it was his dislike of one peson in the group. Oh and if I want to hang out with doche bags to go ahead next time. And he figured I was fine where I wa sand he didn’t understand why I wanted to hangout with the other group of ppl but from now on I do what I want lol
To me this is not a “lol” kind of conversation. He said it was okay if you want to “hang out with douche bags?” Well, isn’t that generous of him! Pah!!! I don’t like your husband.
I know what u mean lol he thinks any man that isn’t him or his friends are dbs and such. He is early 20s and I’m 30 so different level of friends is what it is. He knows now that just cuz they aren’t his type of ppl doesn’t mean I can’t go out with them. So we will see what happens
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