Gah!
Not this crap again! ><
So, I sign on to Facebook on Monday, expecting a friend request from this girl I had been talking to for a few days. Sure enough, there is one request ready, but when I check it, it is my ex-wife… not the woman I thought of.
I mean, seriously, what the hell, this has my anxiety disorder in like… panic mode. What is the point? Why would she bother trying to add me? This is the same woman who left me for her new guy, and told me we couldn’t even stay friends, because she could never see herself spending any amount of time with me ever again. I am so confused, and I can’t focus on anything now.
I just keep thinking, is she just doing it to rub it in my face? They just had their one year anniversary, and she was posting how it has been the happiest year of her life. Her bf is the greatest guy in the world, blah blah blah. Adding me as a friend would do nothing but cause her drama with all the people close to her now. Nothing makes sense about it unless she is really just trying to hurt me again.
It took me 10 months since she left to even talk to a female about hanging out, not dating, but just hanging out. She chooses NOW to start messing with my head again. I just don’t know what to do, and I can’t just turn it off. My mind is constantly going, and I can’t even distract myself. I can try, but I still keep running through all the possibilities in my head even when working on something else. The ability to think about multiple things at once is proving to be a curse.
I don’t even know if there is any help for me, but I have to get this crap out. I need to get it out of my system, but I know it will still be there. The relief from typing this will last all the way up until I leave the site, when it will all flood back.
Le sigh…
This open post was written 1 year, 1 month ago | V/U/S: 421, 1, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post
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