boyfriend help: Boyfriend avoids my family.

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Boyfriend avoids my family.

For some reason, my boyfriend is avoiding my family. We started dating last June and after the 3rd date, we started to go out with his sister and brother in law every other weekend. I didn’t have a problem with this as they are very nice people but, once my family (my sisters and their husbands) started inviting us out to do things with them and he refused to go each and every time I started to get concerned. It’s been a whole year, and they’ve only just met him recently and it was a very brief meeting. They greeted him and introduced themselves through the car window and that was it. I’ve been having to make up excuse after excuse after excuse to my family as to why he doesn’t want to spend time with them. It’s very embarrassing and hurtful for me. This morning at 10′o’clock, my sister invited the two of us out to dinner to celebrate my brother in law’s birthday at 7. I told my boyfriend and immediately he told me that he doesn’t want to go. I asked why and he didn’t have a reason. He just said he doesn’t want to go. But later, he came up with an excuse, saying that it was of too short notice. I don’t believe that excuse at all because not too long ago his sister, at 12 in the afternoon, invited us to go see Hunger games at 7 and surely enough we were there to see it right on time at 7. I just don’t know what to do about him. I love my family and love spending time with them but since dating my boyfriend I never get to go out with them anymore. I know they’re not blind to the fact that he’s avoiding them. Just the other day, my sisters were joking about him not liking them. What should I do?

This open post was written 1 year ago | V/U/S: 1,014, 6, 5 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Every Other Weekend, Every Time, boyfriend, concerned, too short, birthday, anymore, morning, refused, Weekend (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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sweetness #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (16 minutes after post)

He has to tell you why. Dont just let lame excuses or “i dont know” be an accepted answer.

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sweetness #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (17 minutes after post)

is he nervous? does he think its too soon? does he not like them? he must tell you. my boyfriend didnt want to come to family functions for the first year, but its because he said he was nervous and felt that they might judge him. he comes to them all now, but it took a while for him to be ready. and yes, it was annoying and painful

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Anonymous #
1 year ago (24 minutes after post)

I would recommend discussing it with him directly — I would let him know first that you love him and enjoy spending time with his family. However, it is also important to you that you spend time with your family together. You can let him know that you have felt upset that he hasn’t spent time with your family at all, and ask if there is a reason why he doesn’t want to spend time with your family (in general, not just on a given instance).

If he doesn’t have a clear reason, but still refuses to go, then that might be a point for you to reconsider the relationship and whether he is willing to reciprocate or give you what you need. However, asking him point blank about not one particular incident but about whether there is a larger reason why he doesn’t want to spend time with your family might open up a space for him to talk to you about his feelings on the matter. There may be a very legitimate reason that he hasn’t felt comfortable sharing with you, but it’s been a year, and if you two are moving towards something serious than this is an issue that you need to discuss and be open about.

beccafunn 3 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (59 minutes after post)

You need to talk to him, that’s not considerate of him or good boyfriend behavior. I would of understood it if he at least met them and then decided he didn’t like them, but it sounds like he started avoiding them before he even met them!
It sounds like he has a problem. Maybe he had a girlfriend in the past who had an awful family, but that’s still no reason to avoid yours…I think if he cared about you, he’d come to realize that your family is apart of who you are, and that getting to know and like them (or even just spend time with them) would mean a lot to you.
So, I shall repeat, you really need to talk to him about it!

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Anonymous #
1 year ago (1 day, 3 hours after post)

Thank you all very much for your thoughtful responses. I do believe that nerves may have something to do with the reason he avoids them. I’ll try to be more mindful of his feelings and ask him if there’s anything I can do to make him feel more comfortable with being around them. Hopefully, I’ll be able to enjoy time out with my family in the company of my boyfriend soon. Thanks again.

makhathinizandil 0 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 2 weeks ago (1 month, 2 weeks after post)

i have d same prblm my boyfriend likes to introduce me to his family members bt he does’nt want my family to know that we r lovers. I love him so much & i know he loves me too but this behavior is driving mee crazy. Wht must i do?

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Boyfriend avoids my family.

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