boyfriend help: My friend has a very possessive boyfriend. - Help.com

You need to tell her! He sounds like he shouldn’t have a girlfriend and instead should have a psychiatrist.

As long as she feels well that way — why do you worry about?
It’s her relationship, and it’s her business.

This is very dangerous- it looks like the start of Domestic Violence (now called Domestic Abuse because some awful situations don’t actually involve hitting).

I suggest you read something like “Power And Control: Why Charming Men Can Make Dangerous Lovers” to understand the dynamics. Available from online book stores.

You also need to understand appropriate boundaries. If your friend is doing something stupid, there is only so much you can say. Beyond that you simply destroy your relationship with them and your ability to help them later. So, say what you can, as strongly as you can, but then stick around.

One of the dynamics is isolation- he will try to cut her off from all her friends. You need her to know that, even if 5 years goes by without you talking with her, that if she were to turn up on your doorstep at 3am in her nightie with 4 kids, that she would be welcome. Make sure she really hears you on this.

Another dynamic is separating her from money, so she is utterly impoverished and can’t even get credit for her phone. Watch for this too. Give her phone vouchers if needed.

Love her, and wait for her to go through the cycle as many times as it takes for her to get free. (The cycle is: Increasing tension… Violence… utterly sorry & repentant man… All is well… then back to increasing tension).

Be that friend in a million she can count on.

My view is that I think your friend is just enjoying the attention. She is flirting with other guys and she is going on about her boyfriend being unreasonable and treating the whole issue as a joke. This to me does not sound like she is being abused through possessive bf behavior.

You will know if she is being abused from her behavior and mannerism. I would agree with Zirbel, best to leave them to it unless you see some obvious and real signs of abuse. Being possessive can have different meanings and implications to different people. If she is an adult all you can do is be there when she really needs you otherwise if she is not asking for help, then I would advise that you stay out of it or else you will risk losing the friendship unnecessarily.